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Stay present means?

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Last time in t office he helped someone that saw something in his room. Today I let him know there was an argument inside that I can hear ongoing that he shouldn't of touched it. His response was that there was nothing there in his reality and " That’s why I keep talking about becoming present and looking for what is changing in this moment, because this will help develop the understanding of what is really happening, rather than playing old stories of what happened in the past."
I don't know how the old stories play and I took this comment to be a bad thing like I could help it if we just stayed present.
It frustrates me that I do not know how to keep it from happening. Even at home there are so many things that happen and I know that I don't stay present, then I also have no idea what happens. At least he told me what he was doing versus what we thought he was doing.
So can anyone try to reword what he is saying? Or help me know.
I was trying to figure out how can we just talk to hi, know what is being said and not see or as he says play old stories. Do you think this is a blaming statement? I feel blamed somehow.
 
I know this feels like you're being blamed - like "I can't stay present and that's my fault", is that how it is? I'm totally sure that's not how your t meant it, though.

Learning to "stay present" is a skill. It's something you have really have to learn to do if you've spent your life being impacted by trauma. Actually, if you're an adult, it's something you have to learn to do, because after you pass the infant, toddler stage, you start to grow out of that ability to see the world "as it is" and start interpreting everything you see and hear based on your own experiences. For example, you see gray clouds in a sky and you don't just see gray clouds, you immediately think, "uh oh, it's going to storm." Then, depending on what your experience with storms is, you may either get a warm, fuzzy feeling (like I do) or you may get really anxious. But that infant? S/he just looks up and sees gray clouds. Because there is no experience to attach to them.

Learning to stay present is learning to come back to that infant response. To seeing things just as they are. Without all the thoughts and history attached to them.

Those thoughts will still pop up, but as you learn to do this, you learn to simply notice them and not grab on to them and ruminate over them.

Hope this helps a little bit.
 
Flash backs are random but intense and create a lot of dissociation I think. I can't seem to stay present with some Boise, but I never know when the noise will occur or what it may be that sets it all off. Some stay present better than others.
 
Flash backs are random but intense and create a lot of dissociation I think. I can't seem to stay present...

Oh yeah. I totally get that. What I/we do is practicing staying present with the things we *can* stay present with. You know, the easy stuff. The rest will come in its own time. (It actually does. I've been doing this a long time and with a lot of practice, the harder stuff does come eventually). I start off small (which is still hard, but it's a start, right?), like trying to stay present while I'm doing the dishes or tying my shoes or taking a shower or washing my hands. You know, just paying attention to *just* tying my shoes and not thinking about anything else.

Gotta take the baby steps first.
 
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