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Staying present

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Staying present

I picked up a DBT work book to try to help with dissociation and feeling overwhelmed. Something that was an eye opener was the section on being present and "time traveling" (lost in thoughts about the past or future). Now that it's brought to my attention I am noticing I do this all the time. I'm either thinking about the past (often mistakes, painful events, and unresolved issues) or the future (sometimes good stuff, sometimes thoughtful, but also would be conflicts or trying to get resolutions). It's like I'm living in a perpetual nightmare. I'm not really living in the here and now. I'm trying to redirect the thoughts when they come up, to be mindful of the present instead of going off somewhere in my mind. It's really hard. When I manage to stay persent, sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes it's boring or so devoid of anything. I'm listen to music almost non-stop because the silence is too much. I manage to get a lot of cleaning done at home because I tried to focus on physical tasks.

Anyone going through this or have gone through this?
 
Yes, I do understand. You just described my reality. This year I’m working on being present and in my body. It’s quite an eye-opener. Every single day I’m flashing back to every bad decision I ever made, caused by fear-decisions from PTSD.
Yesterday I was able to actually go to a doc apt I’ve been avoiding for 5 yrs. I told her first thing that I have severe PTSD and what I wanted from the apt. It went very well. But it still kicked up the PTSD and I woke up this morning in nightmare time-travel.
I’m learning that the only two things that get me out of it are 1) doing something creative, or 2) deepening my spiritual experience with God. That’s it. Those two things keep me in the here and now and also bring me joy.
I hope this helps you. You’re not alone.
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I love those moments when you are fully present. Some time ago I think I experienced it as a warmth that seemed to cover the room. I felt so present.

I don't think I'm dissociating because I know I'm here when I void out. I do weird things in the shower though. I have a cleaning routine, Hair, face then body. I am always so in my head that I forget what stage I'm at so I keep washing the same parts over and over...until I make myself stay and pay attention to note that indeed I just washed my face. Also in therapy when recalling stuff I tend to look away and enter the void by staring blankly into darkness and let myself slip away for a bit.

okay reading the above paragraph now. It sounds strikingly similar to dissociation (my understanding) but I know when I go mostly. I mean I do have the ability to pull myself out of it..I'm not so gone that I'm unreachable if that makes sense.?
 
Yep --- that's when you have to learn grounding techniques to stay present - in the here and now. Nope - it aint easy. But it does get easier with practice. My favorite is 54321...
5 things I can see, 5 things I can hear, 5 things I can touch
4 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 4 things I can touch
and so on....

Its a great distraction technique
 
I'm need to practice those things more for myself. I have this peppermint and orange water spray I made from aromatherapy oils and have been using those but I need to incorporate the mindful part. I need to remember the 54321 technique. I should be using my emdr floating place more and monitor my breathing. Oh boy..
 
Oh yes. It’s a challenge. My therapist says as things from the past get properly processed and filed, then they take up less mental clutter and it becomes easier to stay in the present moment. Exercise, baths, essential oils, cooking and body work help me. Sometimes exercise and body work bring painful memories up to the surface though...so sometimes I’m tempted to avoid them. Progress, not perfection, right?
 
Boy exercise is another one for me. I was doing so well walking before my trip. Can't do that right now because I pulled my back and can hardly move without yelping. I've been lying on a heating pad for the last couple days. Not really helping and I don't want to take oxycodone. I really should get myself over to the hottub.
 
Boy exercise is another one for me. I was doing so well walking before my trip. Can't do that right...
When I was doing the bulk of my body memory work, I kept "injuring" my back all the time. Looking back now I can see that it was all that emotional pain manifesting itself. A hot bath (or hot tub) instead of Oxy is a better choice. It's good you're here to talk about it!
 
Yep --- that's when you have to learn grounding techniques to stay present - in the here and now. Nope...

Op here, I didn't realize I could post as a guest. Thank you so much for this. I read these replies while at the park (trying to get exercise and nature) and I used the technique you described. I felt so much more grounded and not time traveling as much. I felt content and calm even though people were around. I spontaneously turned it into a game where I tried to find something new every round which forced me to be a lot more mindful searching for something different.
 
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