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Structural Dissociation

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I think you have both shown me how confusing this whole thing is. I understand the 'playing of roles'. Ju...
Oh, Lucycat! I'm so sorry that you went thru this. I did the same thing and reached for help from the family. Everyone got angry and there was lots of yelling. I have never let the "little me" out since then. She is buried even deeper inside me. I don't know if I will ever reach her.
 
I can't remember what I came on here to post. Dissociation is too strong when I try to talk about it. I think I was going to ask what I should do if this rings true for me? I think I have secondary structural dissociation. I want to fix it. I want to get off disability and get a job. Stop being the butt of Republican memes about food stamps and full fridges. I don't know how functional my ANP is...I can't work and had to drop out of college this semester because my therapist said I was dissociating too much.

I have always felt I had different sides to me...I am still learning about my C-PTSD diagnosis and didn't know until recently what dissociation was. There is so much I want to say. The words are running away from me. Dissociation is like trying to run in a dream, or trying to remember a dream the minute you wake up--the harder you try to remember, the further the details run away from you...
 
I can't remember what I came on here to post. Dissociation is too strong when I try to talk about it...

You found a way to say something (anything), and that can be really tough. Well done.

You have a therapist who is aware that you're dissociating! This is also good.

I find it really hard to talk about my own problems, easier to help other people with theirs. It's good enough; paying attention to the reassuring things I say to other people reminds me that the reassuring things are true.

Take things as slowly and gently as you can. And if you find a miracle cure that work instantly... Then it's probably an excuse to dissociate from the problem of dissociation, and not actually a cure. Some things just can't be rushed.
 
T brought up this subject again this week, so I have gone off reading again to remind myself what it mea...
Well, I think within all of us there is that little frightened child that has trouble coping. With PTSD, especially if it is partly due to childhood abuse, such fears are magnified. There are days when I do not want to think about grownup things, don't know if such behavior is a consistent state of mind or just a way of life.
 
I understand the concept of ANP and EP but being DID with more than 20 recorded parts.... I don't really recall if any of them have been able to be truly "functional". The ones who were are now "retired" (they don't exist anymore, or simply haven't been triggered out in more than 5 years). They were never the core person/person who has DID. It's like.... idk.... all of "us" are EP? I don't know what to think about this.
 
T brought up this subject again this week, so I have gone off reading again to remind myself what it mea...

That's what's happened to me I have got completely different ersonalities.. At different times....And am not arsed one bit about anything really... When this happens does it last aslong as I'm alive??
 
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