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Struggling - Sleepless and Exhausted

Discussion in 'General' started by Lisa, Mar 17, 2007.

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  1. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

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    I am really struggling at the moment. I am surviving on so little sleep it is stupid. I feel exhausted, and yet I am not tired? I feel like there is a video playing constantly in my head at times, and the stop button is broken, and the video is jumping around and not running properly. It is ridiculous, I literally can't make sense of anything. All I know is that I end up curled in a ball with such unbelievable body tension and urges to do something drasic, and it is terrifying me. I think I am doing something with my jaw lately too, grinding it or something, it really hurts (i'm not doing drugs). I keep trying to stop this, by counting, or focusing on something in the room, but it is not helping this f***ing tension. I am terrified, it is windy out, and it keeps rushing up against the roof and scaring the hell out of me. It's only wind! I feel like I am drowning, can someone help me? What can I do? I feel seriously crazy, and I am at my absolute wits end, I have locked myself in my room.
     
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  3. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    Lisa, I hope you see this, I tried to PM you, come to chat.....
     
  4. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

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    I can't it won't let me in :( thanks for the offer, I wish I could. Argh!

    But thank you. Dunno what else to say really Im so not going to sleep at all tonight. Maybe I should hit the drink to try to blur over and get tired.
     
  5. willing

    willing Active Member

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    I was just where you are

    UK Lisa,
    I hope you can read this. Way over there in the UK. Tell me more about how you are feeling. Locked in your room because you are scared by the wind or afraid of the drastic? Or both? The pain is unbearable at times. but we are survivors because we have figured out time after time how to find the bit of a spark that keeps us going. When we get here there is only one or two things we are able and that is to wait one more minute. If you haven't don't take a drink. That will definitely make it worse. Tends to make us a bit more crazy actually.
    Are you there?
    Let me know maybe we can just email back and froth for a bit. I am all ears. Hang in there. If I could be with you I would but I can't so here is a great website that has saved my life twice now. go check it out okay.
    [DLMURL]http://www.metanoia.org/suicide[/DLMURL]
    Patty
     
  6. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    hang in there lisa, sleep will come easier after a while, it took over a year for me, but i'm finally sleeping some.ya, i know about the jaw clenching too, and the tight muscles. my shoulders and back of my neck are so tight i'm starting to look like the incredible hulk, lol. it does get better. don't give up. keeping you in my prayers.
    cathy
     
  7. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

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    I just wanna say thank you. I was swinging all over the place last night. One end of the scale and then the way over on the other end. It was ridiculous. But I was offered a lot of support, and I'm really grateful that I had someone there in my darkest hours of the night. I'm better today. Feel kind of numb, and physically achey, but I am not like I was in the above post.

    So yeah - I really just wanted to say Thank You.

    x Lisa
     
  8. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    Glad to hear your feeling some better today. Hang in there
     
  9. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    hugs Lisa tight

    Is good you are slightly better.

    Hell I know the jaw clenching, teeth grinding and no sleep thing well

    Hope you figure out a way to catch some Z's.

    Oh keep in mind that some times sleepers can react badly :erm:
     
  10. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    glad you're feeling some better.praying for you to feel much better.
    cathy
     
  11. wadoo

    wadoo Active Member

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    Lisa, so sorry to hear you had such a hard time... have a lump in my throat thinking how hard it must have been for you.

    My thoughts are with you.
    Lorry
     
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