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Study Study On Treating Ptsd With Mdma

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I learned from tv that I was sensitive to:
anger....
It's all that and more for me - it's everything. I have an enormous sense of having been conned by the sociopaths I've had in my life. Thus, when I see people smiling or laughing or extending kindness, it freaks me out. I can just see the lies and manipulation, the veiled attack behind the mask.
 
Good post, but one thing - how does needing to be validated with a smile lead to attracting sociopaths?
Ahhhhh, that wasn't so obvious to me either. It fell together along the way though. Body language is such a huge thing. Sociopaths understand it very well because they 'seek out' their prey. They look for certain things. They look for approval seekers, people pleasers. If I am seeking validation that I am safe with my eyes and begging for a smile then they know that I care about what they think - ALOT. Therefore they know I can be manipulated. There is a really good set of videos on youtube from 'spartanlifecoach' that speak about the dynamic of narcissist and victim if you are at all interested.

Also, did it help you feel less afraid of people and crowds?
Yes. I can now walk in public places. I still have a sensitivity on my left side but I know what that is and am working on it.

And do you think it's necessary to session around people like you did in the park?
Just like I sessioned about the pillow because I was lying on a pillow. I sessioned about people because I was around people. Session around a trigger and that trigger may well be addressed (if you are ready for it). I used the tv originally. After I figured out the tv I hit the outdoors.
 
Body language is such a huge thing. Sociopaths understand it very well because they 'seek out' their prey.

Would you believe I knew a sociopath who used to brag to me about how he could read people's body language? He talked about it like he discovered this secret way to tell how people are feeling. Only someone who does not have empathy would rely on reading body language; it's kind of like braille to the blind man. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't rue the day I met him - he has a lot to do with why I'm not where I should be today. And I think if I had been educated about SPs I might have been able to spot him - for the body language thing and several other clues.
 
I worry about teenagers that use this stuff. I saw terrifying things but I was cognizant of what my end goal was. Even thinking I was ready did not prepare me for what I saw when I sessioned. A teenager or older child with a past like mine or someone who was not prepared? It is no wonder that kids that use this stuff end up in mental wards. They haven't a clue what they are walking into.

While I think it's safe to worry about any teen using any drug... There is a world of difference between MDA, MDMA, & Ecstasy. (Rather similar difference to Morphine, Heroin, & Opium). And another whole world of difference between using a substance for a directed purpose and using it for ABC-XYZ reasons.

While both MDA 3,4-methylenedioxyamphetamine & MDMA 3,4 MethylenedioxyMethamphetamine are available (albeit difficult to obtain and rarely sought after) in pure Rx grade, Ecstasy is a designer drug. It's mixed on purpose for very specific types of highs. You're a million times more likely to find teens jumping in piles of leaves and hay, dancing with glitter, and rubbing their faces on soft fuzzy things than to be exploring any kind of trauma for more than 2 seconds before "fluffing" it

((2-3 word sentences, and then completely changing the topic... Bad men. OH! You have such pretty hair! It looks like water! We should drink. Water is good. I love water. Feel it! It fell on my shoe! Silly water! I'm not a plant! Oh. Do you want some water on your shoe? Doesn't it feel amazing? Wow. Let's dance in the water! ...or... Life is hard. Do you want to see my glitter? I like sparkly things! Don't you like sparkly things? serious et cetera. If you need to have a real conversation with a kid on E, give them milk, a few gallons of water to stay hydrates, a chew toy, and something shiny to play with. Then be prepared to wait a good 10+ hours. While they pet your furniture and make up stories for your shoes.)).

You're far more likely to run into populations facing similar, trials or bad trips, on peyote, mescaline, strong LSD, lithium based amphetamines, and robotussin, ketamine... Or if they're mixing their ecstasy with acid (a fairly big no-no), dipping cigarettes in embalming fluid (Russian roulette, wet sticks are super lethal), or adding PCP to just about anything. Certain drugs bring out the dark. Ecstasy is almost never one of them. It's designed for fairy-land. Candy Kids are almost universally escaping reality. Not diving into it, nor nightmares.
 
@FridayJones, when you say "ecstasy", are you talking about something distinct from MDMA? Have you taken MDMA? Also, since you seem petty knowledgeable, I want to ask a question. How does MDMA compare to marijuana for people who can't stand the latter? I freak out and get paranoid on pot. I start thinking about all kinds of bad stuff and just wanting life to be over.
 
Have I taken them? Yep. All 3 forms. And, yes, MDMA & Ecstasy are distinct items in their own right. Ecstasy is a street drug which uses MDMA as it's primary component, but not it's only component, while MDMA is just MDMA with or without inert binders.

It's like calling a margarita tequila.
Or a cake flour

Those may be the primary components in a margarita or a cake, but they're not the only necessary ones.

Designer drugs are either pure compounds created in a lab that are mood & mind altering, or they are cocktails of existing drugs mixed in a lab and sold as it's own thing. Ecstasy is something of a combo of both, since MDMA is a mix of methamphetamine and methylenedioxy, and also a mix of MDMA + ???
 
@shimmerz, we do have much in common, infant trauma and more child, and adult. Adult abuse has brought up child and infant (trying to breathe deeply to calm while I write, disjointed chasing thoughts), events (?) they were all very real, so I will use events. Suppressed and depressed for decades. Tried a few therapy sessions - comment I most remember was "I can't wait to see you smile." T thought it was just a bad love affair that I would get over. It was so much more than that. A broken person and me who did not know how broken I was fell in love. He turned out to be very broken and harmful. My defenses (that I did not understand I had used all my life) I let down. Crushed when that shell was destroyed. I do not know how to find a path forward. Few times tried some meds. They do not work for me. On Therapy other than the first one, could have been good, but the same, just a broken heart. NO, it was much more, and then more family things came out of the closet. Could not talk about.

How to find a path that I can walk? Therapy, what type? Best I have had so far is my dog. Attuned. On 12/18 will finally meet with someone from `a 'mental health service" What are the key questions to ask them? What services should I seek? What type of therapy, how often, and I guess that is all $ related. I have nothing anymore. Lost My Bz, my Home and soon to be homeless. Reading your posts above, find any and hopefully a good one, and then consider if MDMA would release me from baby, few months old, then SA as a child. That child hurts, more than the adult assaults. The child cries and screams more in the nightmares, though the rape then starts in.
 
Lost My Bz, my Home and soon to be homeless.
(((((((@Changeling ))))))))
I hear you and have lived this. Try to be gentler on yourself than I was if you can.

The mdma for me allowed me to 'see' things that happened to myself and explained why I have certain symptoms, what behaviours I keep repeating which is getting me into trouble, etc. I have long since stopped but it taught me to trust those nightmares, those feelings of complete immobilization, etc, etc. PM me anytime if you like. Gentle hugs if you will accept them. :hug:
 
I had a counselor that was thinking out loud with me about experimenting with LSD. I was thinking it's a possible course to take. Don't do a full dose, instead try 1/100. My concern is my TBI history.
 
I think the counsellor should lose their license... MDMA assisted psychotherapy is not street drugs, is pharmaceutical grade MDMA, not Ecstasy itself, and is completely non-addictive and done purely within a therapeutic controlled environment with short-term effect purely for the session itself, with recovery as required.
 
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