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General Suffering From Too Many Choices

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Never_falter2

MyPTSD Pro
Odd question. Does your sufferer/do you as a sufferer sometimes suffer from too many choices, like not knowing how to dress because there is too many choices in the wardrobe or not knowing which tooth paste to buy because there are too many?

I am just asking because my guy is going through a phase of having ten t-shirts and five trousers of exactly the same kind because choosing how to dress every day stresses him.

If there is too much to do around the house does your sufferer sometimes just do nothing because he or she cannot choose what to do first, but if you ask him to do whatever he or she just jumps up to do it?

My guy told me sometimes he just does not know what to do because nobody telling him and there is just too many choices. It is not that he is lazy, just to many things to choose from... and no he does not have autism... and no he is not stupid. He is a very smart guy just cannot cope with possibilities and having to choose.
 
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Yes and No. Having too much to do, that is different, and can cause stress which leads to doing nothing... but choosing a clothing item or buying a replacement toothpaste or such item... that sounds more like an excuse than PTSD itself.

You could start to put some aspects like what you mention into PTSD when in fact they have nothing to do with PTSD, but instead that stress is caused elsewhere and has overwhelmed the person to the point of shutting down entirely... but you're not saying they have shutdown entirely to the point where they just stay in bed all day.

Too much stress causes a person to do less, and doing less causes depression, and depression causes not wanting to do anything. Vicious cycle that one.

We with PTSD can make excuses for things just because we don't want to do anything, as everything and anything does cause stress, good or bad, and thus when a stress cup is already full... a sufferer chases their tail and achieves nothing. But having someone tell them what to do... is not a solution either, that is an excuse.
 
Sometimes too many choices can become overwhelming. It all goes back to the stress cup. Normal stress + PTSD + tiny bit of Negative stress = Overload.

Picking out clothes or choosing a brand of toothpaste may seem like such an itty bitty normal everyday stressor that most people don't even think twice about it but if someone with PTSD is already triggered and is close to emotional/ stress overload such a small thing can seem huge.

Sometimes the house being messy "suddenly" gets to me and I don't know where to start with cleaning it. That's a little bit of a normal response and a little PTSD response. When I either go hide under a pillow or start covering my eyes and spinning in circles or throwing the "mess" around... that's the PTSD talking. At least for me.

I've become really good at ignoring the mess though ;)
 
For me...making a decision about some things...is danged near impossible. Others... I'm fine..clothing and toothpaste isn't one of them I only have a couple outfits anyway and I grab the cheapest toothpaste. But when it comes to brushing teeth or cleaning ect....it takes alot of energy I don't have anymore. Maybe it's the same for the decisions. Maybe when I'm stressed etc. I just can't think. I don't know.
 
My vet can get like that too... he worries about choices until he just says "screw it" and does nothing.

I used to try and help him and do things for him, but it either aggravated him or made him even less likely to make choices.

For basic household things, we've started making lists. That seems to help. We sit down and make a "to-do list" together, being sure not to make it overly long and complicated, and he crosses things off. Like a day he's cooking we will plan the meal ahead of time, checking to make sure we have everything,then when it's time for him to cook, he can go about it with no problems and less stress. We plan out a laundry day, and make sure we have laundry detergent and hangers etc, then he will do the whole household's laundry - washed, dried, hung up, and put away. Stuff like that used to cripple him. The foreward planning seems to help.
 
Yeah, I went through a pretty long period of being overwhelmed by seemingly inane choices. Sometimes still they generate anxiety but I got the ability to manage them most often now. A lot of it had to do with my hardwiring and the conscious awareness that if presented with choices, I am most often drawn to the poor choice, or situation, or dysfunctional one. It had more I think to do with my own realization of my flaws and not wanting to have adverse consequences.... from ANYTHING else - ever. Which I had to learn how to deal with. I do much better now but it can still at times be difficult.
 
Yes and No. Having too much to do, that is different, and can cause stress which leads to doing nothing......
@anthony: No, he is not staying in bed all day. The opposite is the case. He works and he likes to work out, likes to jog, likes to do things with his friends. No... it's just... not being able to cope with choices or chaos or unusual stuff. In this case he just gets "glued to the spot" and either does nothing or does something unrelated and ignores the problem. I wondered if this "ignoring" and focusing on something different could be a coping mechanism.
Now if I am asking him to stop ignoring the problem he will... but if I am not there and there is a problem he just sits around and waits for someone to "save" him by telling him what to do. Take to example with the toothpaste. The one we usually buy was sold out, he tried to phone me to ask which one to buy but did not reach me. Instead of just buying any, he bought none and I had to do an extra trip to the shop which took me a lot of time (we live in a rural place). We quarreled but then I thought that maybe it wasn't his fault but only a symptom.
It's not like he is lazy, he is just unable to make choices. His boss at his job noticed it too and it already had an impact on his career.
 
If this is new he may be processing something that is overwhelming him. I go with that, not manipulation. It could be the cold weather (if you are in cold weather) and he has to dress differently. I wear pretty much the same dang thing every day. lol. I have graduated to being able to choose between a couple of different tops, but even that gets my mind spinning. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone a bit but man, it is really hard to do.

Can you help him decide by letting him know what you like to see him wear (helps his self esteem too)? Honey, I love your blue pants and your black shirt looks soooooo good on you! Just a thought.
 
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