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General Support For Husband Of Wife With Ptsd

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COPTSDHubby

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I would like to meet people who are married to a spouse diagnosed with PTSD and how that creates intimacy issues. I am toughing it out, but losing steam and feel that commiserating would help as well as some advice on how to cope. We are in marriage counseling and she is in intensive personal PTSD therapy.
 
Hi COPTSDHubby,

Though not married, I have a deeply commited relationship with my BF who went through intensive PTSD therapy for two months straight. An "immersion" of sorts. I found it really helped him. It's great you are going to marriage therapy as well.

The loss of intimacy is pretty normal, I think with this carer's really need to have some patience.

Welcome to the forum

Shoka
 
As a female sufferer, there are lots of things you can do that will create closeness and trust with your partner.

Touching, talking, carassing, all in a non-sexual way will allow her the space to eventually go to that place without pressure and probably in a pleasurable way for the first time in her life.

Be patient, be loving and above all, try not to project any sense of blame for her lack of desire. That would be really damaging.

Take it easy.......T
 
Hubby,

I don't know your specifics I feel a kinship with what you say. Even posted few questions about intimacy, etc.

Looks like you are new and not out of moderation or I'd offer to message you. I think, I spoke in my intro about MY feeling like how I feel it would help for me to bounce things off someone with similar circumstances.

I hope you find this forum helpful. I have. I post when I'm down and I post support for others when I feel I can.

Hope the marriage counseling helps. In my case, wife has to deal with herself first. I would so much love to be in some sort of couples thing.
 
Hi COPTSHubby:hello:

My ex lost all interest in sex with the combination of medications he was on and the intense therapy he was going through, he felt awful but i reassured him that it was not the b and end all of our relationship, that getting to a point of wellness was more important.

Support, interestingly my ex's therapist suggested couples councilling as well as the therapy sessions, sadly we didn't take his advice. So it's great that you and your wife are doing both COPTSHubby.

All the best,

Pebs
 
I am interested in talking to husbands of wives with PTSD and getting tips on how to deal with it, her, and myself. I saw intimacy mentioned above and we lost intimacy about 5 yrs ago as her PTSD surfaced and she started a downward trend. At this point I don't get told she cares about me, she won't hug me or hold my hand. I am looking forward to the day she gives me a good hug.

I am new, so you can go read my intro for more specifics to my situation.

Jawn
 
Hi Jawn

It is great to see you are reading and even going back to older posts.

From memory, there aren't a lot of male Carers around at present. From memory there is ISupportHer, AdamAnt, Tbam, Kilroy and yourself.
 
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Intimacy is a difficult thing. For me, that is divided into 2 areas. The closeness of sharing, hugging, reliance on your partner then there is sexual intimacy. Two seperate things in my mind. I think you have to be careful not to get them out of order.

Without going into details, I truly believe that if dealing with a sufferer of sexual trauma, that sufferer has to call the shots as to what is acceptable and that the carers has to accept, somehow, someway, that this is the case.

ISH
 
I fit this profile.

Intimacy issues since wife's PTSD diagnosis and beginning of trauma treatment. Once trauma therapy began, she was regularly getting triggered by any physical contact with me. Think she just endured this for a while, but ultimately it became too much and the intimacy stopped. Actual physical contact of any sort is relatively rare at this point, maybe a hug now and again. I am told this will get better, but that it can be a long trip. And while I love her very much, my mind does wander now and again to thinking about whether I will be able to make this difficult journey. At this point, I long for a "normal" relationship. where you can hug and/or kiss your partner when you come home from work, and there are normal expressions of physical intimacy. I just miss the human contact at this point.
 
I am also a male carer. during her depression phase, intimacy was really hard for both of us.
I like the image of a dragon, to use here as an analogy.
When her dragon comes out, she would actually need me to be close to her.
But at the same time, I, as a male person, representing the male gender, am also representing the dragon.
So the dichotomy between 'I need you - I am afraid of you' , I love you - I hate you'. which is going on in her mind, is so difficult for me to handle. I feel rejected, but at the same time she needs me.
What I am learning is to see through this, and respond to her need for closeness with me, while being scared.
 
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