Is anyone also suffering from a TBI?
I finally built up the courage to start scratching the surface on some of my past, a little back log:
approx 7 years ago I was blown up by an IED. I was knocked unconcious, and when I came to my patrol was taking enemy fire (I should clarify my PTSD does not stem from my deployment with the military) I slowly got myself oriented and carried on with the mission...
fast forward... now back to the issues that caused the PTSD... In March my wife attempted suicide (I was the first responder) In April my daughter fell off her bunk bed and fractured both eye sockets, her nose, the side of her skull, and her occipital bone.
now I'm back on track. now with the issues I've been dealing with. My youngest daughter was diagnosed with hemiplegic cerebral palsy, and I'm going through a potential career ending back surgery (now recovery). anyways, as if my life isn't complex enough, prior to the surgery they upped my dosage of Neurotin to 3000mg. I started getting really violent headaches, so they switched me to Topimax and did an MRI of my head...
Now getting to the TBI part and my original story. So... yeah MRI shows that I "had" a TBI so they ask me. Have you ever had a concussion. I didn't even remember at first but after connecting the dots I figured out this is the only time I've been knocked out.
Anyways, I meet with the Wounded Warriors Battalion about my back surgery, because like I said it's more than likely career ending, and I tell my Recovery Care Coordinator this. She asks if I ever received my purple heart, which I didn't, so she set me on the path to do that. Anyways, I haven't been able to start this quest the anxiety has been to high. I finally decided I would start with something familiar and contact some guys from the unit for the witness statement part of it. The very first person I contacted told me I was a disgrace and I didn't rate it, that I brought dishonor to all those that did. I don't think I can do this by myself.
I literally feel crushed right now. Maybe he's right maybe I don't deserve it. The funny thing is outside of staying in the armed services it really doesn't have any benefits. Sure you can get free license plates and front of the line at the VA, but that's not why I'm doing it. It would make my daughters eligible for scholarships later on in life. That's all I really hope to get out of it. I don't mean to be a disgrace to anyone. Yet my command wont help me, even my old friends wont help me.
I don't understand how I can hold rock solid medical documentation in my hand and I still get treated like a peddler, when the ironic thing is I'm not even pursuing this for myself. why in my anatomy and physiology class when asked what is the most "IMPORTANT" body system; did 50% say the neurological system and not 1 say the muscular/skeletal system, yet in the military the only injury that gets looked at as real is the one that leave a trail of blood or bone fragment.
If anyone felt like hanging in there to read this far, I'm confused, aggrivated, my anxiety is peaked, obviously I have no friends and no outlet and my PTSD has consumed me to what I see as the lowest form of life. I'm doing my regular visits to the witch doctors and on my meds, but after being told that today I got nothing left. Need something positive if anything has anything inspiring to give....
I finally built up the courage to start scratching the surface on some of my past, a little back log:
approx 7 years ago I was blown up by an IED. I was knocked unconcious, and when I came to my patrol was taking enemy fire (I should clarify my PTSD does not stem from my deployment with the military) I slowly got myself oriented and carried on with the mission...
fast forward... now back to the issues that caused the PTSD... In March my wife attempted suicide (I was the first responder) In April my daughter fell off her bunk bed and fractured both eye sockets, her nose, the side of her skull, and her occipital bone.
now I'm back on track. now with the issues I've been dealing with. My youngest daughter was diagnosed with hemiplegic cerebral palsy, and I'm going through a potential career ending back surgery (now recovery). anyways, as if my life isn't complex enough, prior to the surgery they upped my dosage of Neurotin to 3000mg. I started getting really violent headaches, so they switched me to Topimax and did an MRI of my head...
Now getting to the TBI part and my original story. So... yeah MRI shows that I "had" a TBI so they ask me. Have you ever had a concussion. I didn't even remember at first but after connecting the dots I figured out this is the only time I've been knocked out.
Anyways, I meet with the Wounded Warriors Battalion about my back surgery, because like I said it's more than likely career ending, and I tell my Recovery Care Coordinator this. She asks if I ever received my purple heart, which I didn't, so she set me on the path to do that. Anyways, I haven't been able to start this quest the anxiety has been to high. I finally decided I would start with something familiar and contact some guys from the unit for the witness statement part of it. The very first person I contacted told me I was a disgrace and I didn't rate it, that I brought dishonor to all those that did. I don't think I can do this by myself.
I literally feel crushed right now. Maybe he's right maybe I don't deserve it. The funny thing is outside of staying in the armed services it really doesn't have any benefits. Sure you can get free license plates and front of the line at the VA, but that's not why I'm doing it. It would make my daughters eligible for scholarships later on in life. That's all I really hope to get out of it. I don't mean to be a disgrace to anyone. Yet my command wont help me, even my old friends wont help me.
I don't understand how I can hold rock solid medical documentation in my hand and I still get treated like a peddler, when the ironic thing is I'm not even pursuing this for myself. why in my anatomy and physiology class when asked what is the most "IMPORTANT" body system; did 50% say the neurological system and not 1 say the muscular/skeletal system, yet in the military the only injury that gets looked at as real is the one that leave a trail of blood or bone fragment.
If anyone felt like hanging in there to read this far, I'm confused, aggrivated, my anxiety is peaked, obviously I have no friends and no outlet and my PTSD has consumed me to what I see as the lowest form of life. I'm doing my regular visits to the witch doctors and on my meds, but after being told that today I got nothing left. Need something positive if anything has anything inspiring to give....