Hello.
I am a survivor of the Westminster Terror Attack this year. I wasn't hurt, but I saw it all happen and had a narrow escape.
I can't stop myself reliving it. I struggle to sleep at night, but the thoughts mostly revolve around what *could* have happened, or what I *should* have done.
I ran away when it kicked off and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself that I didn't stay to help.
I also think, what if I was there 10 seconds before, had I been just a few paces ahead, I would have been hit.
And I am now constantly scared that I will die. Or my friends will die.
I already have OCD, so my brain is not exactly my friend, and this is making symptoms worse to a point that I don't know how much of my current fear and ruminating is due to OCD, and how much is a reasonable response to the attack. And whether any of this is normal and will go away on its own, or whether it's a sign off PTSD. I know my compulsions are worse, but my fear of death feels perfectly reasonable. People die. All. The. Time. And I am so scared that it will be me or my family next. And if it is, that it will end up being a grizzly death like those on the bridge.
I'm basically just constantly scared, obsessing, having panic attacks and don't know what to do. It's starting to take over my life.
I am a survivor of the Westminster Terror Attack this year. I wasn't hurt, but I saw it all happen and had a narrow escape.
I can't stop myself reliving it. I struggle to sleep at night, but the thoughts mostly revolve around what *could* have happened, or what I *should* have done.
I ran away when it kicked off and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself that I didn't stay to help.
I also think, what if I was there 10 seconds before, had I been just a few paces ahead, I would have been hit.
And I am now constantly scared that I will die. Or my friends will die.
I already have OCD, so my brain is not exactly my friend, and this is making symptoms worse to a point that I don't know how much of my current fear and ruminating is due to OCD, and how much is a reasonable response to the attack. And whether any of this is normal and will go away on its own, or whether it's a sign off PTSD. I know my compulsions are worse, but my fear of death feels perfectly reasonable. People die. All. The. Time. And I am so scared that it will be me or my family next. And if it is, that it will end up being a grizzly death like those on the bridge.
I'm basically just constantly scared, obsessing, having panic attacks and don't know what to do. It's starting to take over my life.