Mislabeled2008
New Here
This is my first day posting. I've been through a long list of traumatic events that began, well, first around 1991, then things calmed down a bit, and then life got insane again starting in 2002. When I was young, before my ex-husband punished me with verbal, emotional and physical abuse, and before my birth family exploited me for their financial gain, I was vibrant, happy, cheerful, and friendly. I was such a fun, well-liked person that I went to three proms - one in 11th grade, one as a senior, and one when I was 19 and dating a senior.
That young woman has, for all intents and purposes, been killed. I am very aware of that now. It's excruciatingly painful to trust people now. I try - I try to reach out - and then I retract again into the safety and seclusion of isolation.
PTSD has also ruined my career options. I do not trust people in the workplace at all - doesn't matter what job I'm doing. I'm sure they're all out to get me one way or another and if they don't hate me right now, they will soon. I'll say or do something stupid, or I'll accidentally show off, and someone will hate me and have it out for my job.
I've tried to find a therapist who specializes in PTSD - that's another kind of hell - trying to find treatment. So that's why I'm here. This is a stopgap between suffering alone and finding a therapist.
That young woman has, for all intents and purposes, been killed. I am very aware of that now. It's excruciatingly painful to trust people now. I try - I try to reach out - and then I retract again into the safety and seclusion of isolation.
PTSD has also ruined my career options. I do not trust people in the workplace at all - doesn't matter what job I'm doing. I'm sure they're all out to get me one way or another and if they don't hate me right now, they will soon. I'll say or do something stupid, or I'll accidentally show off, and someone will hate me and have it out for my job.
I've tried to find a therapist who specializes in PTSD - that's another kind of hell - trying to find treatment. So that's why I'm here. This is a stopgap between suffering alone and finding a therapist.