The discussion in therapy today was of how I am afraid to be around children because I think I will molest them, because it was done to me. I have read and heard that people who are abused are more likely to abuse, when I am around kids, I don't have any sexual thoughts or anything. I often find myself thinking about me harming them though, I don't have fantasies or anything of having sexual relations or stuff of that nature, but I mean of how messed up they would be if they were to be abused. I think about how their innocence would be lost and such, not of harming them.
Also that is another reason I don't socialize much with people is because I am afraid to have children, for the previous part and also because what if one of my children does that to their sibling. I couldn't bare to think of that happening and even if I knew or didn't find out, just the thought of knowing what that poor child would go through all their life from the side effects of the abuse. Yes the chance of all this happening is low, but so was the chance of it happening in my family and it did, so to even think of taking that chance makes me want to die, so the abuse can not continue.
Also that is another reason I don't socialize much with people is because I am afraid to have children, for the previous part and also because what if one of my children does that to their sibling. I couldn't bare to think of that happening and even if I knew or didn't find out, just the thought of knowing what that poor child would go through all their life from the side effects of the abuse. Yes the chance of all this happening is low, but so was the chance of it happening in my family and it did, so to even think of taking that chance makes me want to die, so the abuse can not continue.