D
Deleted member 28862
Okay. I would like to start with that the guy I'm currently talking to knows about my past and is being very supportive and understanding to the best of his ability. ( and trust me thats a lot)
After a lot of talks i got really comfortable with him and i really like him. So after muxh hesitation and no pressuring on his parr nothing but reassurance we "made love". It hurt like hell lol but i enjoyed it. Continuing consent and sweet. As a victim of multiple rapes and sexyal abuse this was a big step.
Now fast forward to today. I took a nap (im anemic and the sun was blazing today) and i dreamed that after having relations my dreames self went to sleep. And she dreames of one of the rape...the most violent one and it was hos face. I know it wasnt him my dream seld knew it wasnt him but his face was there. My dream self woke up on the verge of tears and i wouldn't let him touch me and i kept saying please take me home so he did. I didn't utter a sound and just left the car and scrubbed myself in the shower. When i actually woke up, i felt like i was having a panic attack and i felt the burns from that night i got raped and when i scrubbed myself after getting home.
Why did i dream it was him?
After a lot of talks i got really comfortable with him and i really like him. So after muxh hesitation and no pressuring on his parr nothing but reassurance we "made love". It hurt like hell lol but i enjoyed it. Continuing consent and sweet. As a victim of multiple rapes and sexyal abuse this was a big step.
Now fast forward to today. I took a nap (im anemic and the sun was blazing today) and i dreamed that after having relations my dreames self went to sleep. And she dreames of one of the rape...the most violent one and it was hos face. I know it wasnt him my dream seld knew it wasnt him but his face was there. My dream self woke up on the verge of tears and i wouldn't let him touch me and i kept saying please take me home so he did. I didn't utter a sound and just left the car and scrubbed myself in the shower. When i actually woke up, i felt like i was having a panic attack and i felt the burns from that night i got raped and when i scrubbed myself after getting home.
Why did i dream it was him?