Countrybumkin06
New Here
Well I guess I'm new here. I guess this is an outlet for guidance and faith right now. Knowing if I'm doing the right thing. Advice/Help from PTSD suffers.
I met my warrior back in The start of the new year. I wasn't looking for anything, but he swooooned my heart over. He is an amazing man with a beautiful heart. I literally smile and laughing 24/7 when I'm with him or just talking to him. He was in the military for 12 years and did four tours. The last two tours being the worst. He has been going to therapy and sticking to it. He is an isolator. He warned me he had Combat PTSD and was an isolator. Me being selfish, I was in denial and knowing nothing about it other than war vets get it, I thought he was fine. He seemed fine.
In June we went away on our first vacation. When he got back I could see a change. He was distant, avoided hanging out, and wasn't into talking. Felt like he was pushing away, Even though that weekend was amazing. we were talking about getting a house and future trips. I have been in two past relationships where I was cheated on. Me thinking that's what it was, I started into anxiety mood and asking what was wrong. He kept saying nothing. (Also, I'm not proud of it but we met through work. I'm a big advocate of, don't shit where you eat. But with him I have thought twice about. He is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Our work is full of drama and we keep our relationship a secret ... For the past 9 months)
He shut down the next weekend. Broke up with me. He said I didn't understand. he doesn't want to be with anyone. I turned to this site and read posts for strength and closure. I started educating myself on combat PTSD. I never gave up. I text him and checked in with him. he always texted back and we still kept contact. It took about two months until he could finally see me outside of work again. It was only for a couple hours but I don't think I've cried more once he left because he told me how much he missed when he finally saw me. I held it together and stayed strong while we were together know. Then we were back to talking sun up to sun down. I got to see him for a couple hours every other week or once a week this past month. I think we've gone a total of two weeks in the past 9 months of knowing each other not talking.
Recently this past week he went back to isolation. I dunno why, but this time it's just harder. It was like three steps forward and two steps back. I miss him a lot this time. I can't help but think it's my fault. I told him I loved him, because I could tell he was slipping back into isolation. I told him I wasn't going anywhere. I hoped that he knew I'd never hurt him...I wish I kinda handn't said anything. just kept my mouth shut. He went into complete shut down after I told him that. I think it was to much to handle, I dunno. He keeps saying he wants to go back to Afghanistan. That life was easier there. I know we work in a very stressful environment. It takes a toll on him. He still says he doesn't want a relationship it is to much anxiety and stress.
I dunno how to help make it better. Magic beans to take back what I said maybelol. I dunno what to say to him or help him yet. I feel like i make it worse, but he never got to a good place were I could talk to him about what helps during isolation. Advice from suffers from PTSD on what to do. I'm just kinda having a hard time refocusing on me and finding things to pass the time and it's only day two.
I met my warrior back in The start of the new year. I wasn't looking for anything, but he swooooned my heart over. He is an amazing man with a beautiful heart. I literally smile and laughing 24/7 when I'm with him or just talking to him. He was in the military for 12 years and did four tours. The last two tours being the worst. He has been going to therapy and sticking to it. He is an isolator. He warned me he had Combat PTSD and was an isolator. Me being selfish, I was in denial and knowing nothing about it other than war vets get it, I thought he was fine. He seemed fine.
In June we went away on our first vacation. When he got back I could see a change. He was distant, avoided hanging out, and wasn't into talking. Felt like he was pushing away, Even though that weekend was amazing. we were talking about getting a house and future trips. I have been in two past relationships where I was cheated on. Me thinking that's what it was, I started into anxiety mood and asking what was wrong. He kept saying nothing. (Also, I'm not proud of it but we met through work. I'm a big advocate of, don't shit where you eat. But with him I have thought twice about. He is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Our work is full of drama and we keep our relationship a secret ... For the past 9 months)
He shut down the next weekend. Broke up with me. He said I didn't understand. he doesn't want to be with anyone. I turned to this site and read posts for strength and closure. I started educating myself on combat PTSD. I never gave up. I text him and checked in with him. he always texted back and we still kept contact. It took about two months until he could finally see me outside of work again. It was only for a couple hours but I don't think I've cried more once he left because he told me how much he missed when he finally saw me. I held it together and stayed strong while we were together know. Then we were back to talking sun up to sun down. I got to see him for a couple hours every other week or once a week this past month. I think we've gone a total of two weeks in the past 9 months of knowing each other not talking.
Recently this past week he went back to isolation. I dunno why, but this time it's just harder. It was like three steps forward and two steps back. I miss him a lot this time. I can't help but think it's my fault. I told him I loved him, because I could tell he was slipping back into isolation. I told him I wasn't going anywhere. I hoped that he knew I'd never hurt him...I wish I kinda handn't said anything. just kept my mouth shut. He went into complete shut down after I told him that. I think it was to much to handle, I dunno. He keeps saying he wants to go back to Afghanistan. That life was easier there. I know we work in a very stressful environment. It takes a toll on him. He still says he doesn't want a relationship it is to much anxiety and stress.
I dunno how to help make it better. Magic beans to take back what I said maybelol. I dunno what to say to him or help him yet. I feel like i make it worse, but he never got to a good place were I could talk to him about what helps during isolation. Advice from suffers from PTSD on what to do. I'm just kinda having a hard time refocusing on me and finding things to pass the time and it's only day two.