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The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

Discussion in 'Trauma Diaries' started by mumstheword, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Very immobile again today.I had a disturbing dream that happened in two parts; I was a guy doing work for some rich guy and I found out he murdered all his employees. And lots and lots of children. I spent lots of time trying to run away from him while he chased me. I woke up for a few hours and was quite agitated although still tired. Wrote a post on the thread about the divorced guy who claimed ptsd, about some of the emotional abuse I suffered in my procreating relationship, it opened up a gaping wound. I eventually went back to sleep and continued running away from this murderer and trying to warn other employees and children. It seemed he wasn't interested in killing me, was just toying with me and he let me get away but I couldn't convince the children and other employees of the danger they were in.

    I'm so tired and resourceless-feeling today.
    I read some very hitting-home stuff about being caught up with narcissists in Shimmerz trauma diary and I shared it with my guy. He got heaps triggered by it and I felt so guilty and cried. We are both constantly agonized for our children who's other parents are narcissistic. At the moment there are children in the clutches of each one of these narcissists. It's a truly horrible, reality and feels really terrible and psychologically torturous for both of us. We love our children so much.
     
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  3. Rain

    Rain Love is eternal Premium Member Generous $250+

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    If you are interested there are some really good stories of others abused by Narcissists by a guy named Ollie Matthews whose parents are both Narcissistis on you tube videos called the Narcissistic resistance. Just persue them and you will learn so many things about yourself. Once I knew my daughter was like this I was very eager to learn all I could about them and this guys was a source of some real education and the stories you cannot listen to you are able to skip over. He taught me so many things how to best effectively deal with them and I think if you both have children trapped in this abuse situation, you may learn how to best support them through this time.

    It is so insidious really. I have since learned so much in this last year. Good luck
     
  4. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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  5. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    1515805783617-1386433409.jpg I was tired and overwhelmed yesterday so I drew this picture. I'm calling it "Happiness" coz it makes me happy to look at it.:)
     
  6. Rain

    Rain Love is eternal Premium Member Generous $250+

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    Beautiful and thank you very much for sharing this picture.
     
  7. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I'm started checking these out. I watched the first one of his channel name change -The narcissistic resistance. I like him a lot. I agreed with everything he said.
     
  8. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    You're very welcome.:).I had lots of fun drawing it.:)
     
    AngelkeeperJ/AKJ, NinjaWolf and ladee like this.
  9. Rain

    Rain Love is eternal Premium Member Generous $250+

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    When it was first suggested to me to begin watching videos about narcissitic abuse by a forum friend, I was so thirsty for knowledge that I could not educated fast enough and was so blown away by the things I was learning and when I first found Ollie, I couldn't watch enough of what he had to say and became addictied to watching his videos.

    I am glad you like him too.
     
  10. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I know I'm going to get a lot out of watching them. I shared it with my guy and, of course, it's just as relevant for him.
    On a similar note, my narc neighbor returned today :-(. We are practising giving zero bleeps.
     
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  11. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I got so overheated today. It feels like my brain has been cooked. Not fun at all. I took my 19 year old son out to lunch. On the walk back I just knew it was too far too hot and I am in not-so-good nick so I tried ringing my guy to come pick me up, but he wasn't answering, so I walked anyway. Already stress disordered and injured brain is not happy getting that hot. My guy and I are kinda fighting now, I feel terrible, he feels guilty, he snapped at me and now I feel upset and in pain and heat exhausted. I'm in withdrawal mode and he went outside. In his man cave perhaps.
     
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  12. AngelkeeperJ/AKJ

    AngelkeeperJ/AKJ ❤️❤️❤️ Premium Member Generous $250+

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    :hug:(((@mumstheword ))) :hug:
    I hope you will feel better tomorrow! Being overheated is one of the most miserable feelings that exist.
    (I have fibro and extreme heat or cold are tortuous... We are having extreme cold here)
     
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  13. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Thank you sweet Angelkeeper
     
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