L
Libika
I've been in a relationship for about 6 months and it's good for the most part. But the way I cope with my grief is obviously different than him. Example is our dog passed away we both loved very much. He is calling everyone and constantly making comments like 'right now (dog) would be doing this, or he would have loved that'. Don't get me wrong I understand he may need to talk about it, but when he's on the 5th phone call and I go outside he can't accuse me of hiding something.
I'm using my dog as just an example, my mentor passed away in January (my boyfriend had never met her) and I still exhibited the same grieving methods. I wear more makeup than usual, fix my hair certain ways, more jewelry, ect.. It is my mask to hide behind for awhile, I guess. I rarely cry but also I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to share my feelings, I do stay more to myself. I use writing and music to express myself and you won't get me to talk before I'm ready too. Other things become trivial at the time because, in reality, they are.
But he sees these things as I'm up to something or hiding something. I've explained this too him and have shown pictures of what I looked like at certain times in my past. It's an obvious pattern. Yesterday he yanked my phone out of my hand 5 different times to see who I was texting... It was my mom. All 5 times. I'm getting fed up with his constant need to get on my phone, be suspicious, and get upset if I didn't answer his phone call or didnt answer his text within a 30 minute period. I have to delete anything a friend tells me in confidence so he doesn't read it.
I had put a lock on my phone and the same night we found out our dog had drowned (Monday) he wakes me up at 6am demanding to know my password. I had fell asleep at 4am, sad about my dog, nightmares the couple hours I did sleep, and refused to tell him at first. Is having a form of privacy bad? My poems, journal, thoughts are written on here and I don't like him having access to them unless I choose too share them.
And no matter how many times I explain it just because he doesn't see a reason I should be showing symptoms because life is good, that IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. Thoughts on how to handle this? Please, I don't know what else to do.
I'm using my dog as just an example, my mentor passed away in January (my boyfriend had never met her) and I still exhibited the same grieving methods. I wear more makeup than usual, fix my hair certain ways, more jewelry, ect.. It is my mask to hide behind for awhile, I guess. I rarely cry but also I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to share my feelings, I do stay more to myself. I use writing and music to express myself and you won't get me to talk before I'm ready too. Other things become trivial at the time because, in reality, they are.
But he sees these things as I'm up to something or hiding something. I've explained this too him and have shown pictures of what I looked like at certain times in my past. It's an obvious pattern. Yesterday he yanked my phone out of my hand 5 different times to see who I was texting... It was my mom. All 5 times. I'm getting fed up with his constant need to get on my phone, be suspicious, and get upset if I didn't answer his phone call or didnt answer his text within a 30 minute period. I have to delete anything a friend tells me in confidence so he doesn't read it.
I had put a lock on my phone and the same night we found out our dog had drowned (Monday) he wakes me up at 6am demanding to know my password. I had fell asleep at 4am, sad about my dog, nightmares the couple hours I did sleep, and refused to tell him at first. Is having a form of privacy bad? My poems, journal, thoughts are written on here and I don't like him having access to them unless I choose too share them.
And no matter how many times I explain it just because he doesn't see a reason I should be showing symptoms because life is good, that IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. Thoughts on how to handle this? Please, I don't know what else to do.