Nyssa
Confident
Previously on "dirty families"
Nyssa was sexually abused by her father and her brother, who then abused many children around him. She pressed charges against them years ago. Her mother sided with the abusers. They were trialed in march. Her father was sentenced to 5 years for sexual assault, and acquitted of the rape charges, while her brother was found guilty on all charges and sentenced to 15 years of prison.
And now, this week's new episode
Thursday, I received a letter summonsing me to court at the request of my father. I spent the night wondering what it was about. It turns out he and my mother have filed a request to revoke the donation of their house.
** Boring details on this donation **
15 years ago, my parents have donated part of their house to my brother and I. The notarized agreement stated that they would keep the usufruct of their house and that we would own the house when they died without having to pay taxes. I knew I had signed some agreement of the sort back when I was living in denial, but I hadn't really understood it at the time. From what I remembered, they had donated only part of their house and we would have to sign another agreement later on. A few years ago, I wrote to the clerk to ask for a copy of that agreement and tell him I did not want to be part of any donation anymore. He never answered and I left things there.
** end of the boring details **
I couldn't care less about this donation. I don't want anything from them, and I plan to refuse their inheritance when they die. But the law stipulates that a donation can not be revoked unless the beneficiary has been "ungrateful" to the donor in one of the three following ways : (1) the beneficiary has made an attempt on the donor's life, (2) he or she had committed crimes, inflicted serious abuse or proclaim serious insults against the donor, or (3) he or she has denied to provide care to the donor when he was legally obliged to. The revocation has to be pronounced in a court of law. Hence the summons.
In a 11-page long document I received yesterday, my parents' lawyer argue that I was ungrateful to my generous donors... because I accused my father of sexual assaults and insulted him in the process, calling him a disgusting pig and other pretty names. The argument is not even based on the fact that my father was acquitted of the rape charges, as he claims to be innocent of the sexual assaults for which he was convicted. It says I blatantly insulted my father by accusing him of crimes he was found guilty of. Since I pressed charges, my parents life have become a living hell. And now because of me, my poor mother is all alone. Finally, they ask me to pay them 2000 € to cover their legal expenses.
I am in owe.
At first, I felt outraged to be cast as the bad guy again. And then I wondered : am I grateful to them? No, I am not. Nor should I. So be it, I am ungrateful to my undeserving parents. It would actually be kind of awesome to have it officially declared by a court of law.
And tonight's special episode
Thanks to the trial, I reconnected with two of my cousins (I had cut ties with the entire family). I called one of them today. She told me that my father just wrote a rather staggering letter to one of his brothers.
He says he forgives everyone in the family. He forgives me. And he hopes to live long enough to be able to enjoy a peaceful relationship with me.
I am stunned.
And scared. How could I ever be done with this man?
I have always been scared of him. For a short while after the trial, I thought I was free of that fear, at least for as long as he would remain in prison. But when I received the summons this week, my fear of him instantly came back. And now, I am back to wondering what comes next.
So he can scare me even from prison. This is depressing.
Nyssa was sexually abused by her father and her brother, who then abused many children around him. She pressed charges against them years ago. Her mother sided with the abusers. They were trialed in march. Her father was sentenced to 5 years for sexual assault, and acquitted of the rape charges, while her brother was found guilty on all charges and sentenced to 15 years of prison.
And now, this week's new episode
Thursday, I received a letter summonsing me to court at the request of my father. I spent the night wondering what it was about. It turns out he and my mother have filed a request to revoke the donation of their house.
** Boring details on this donation **
15 years ago, my parents have donated part of their house to my brother and I. The notarized agreement stated that they would keep the usufruct of their house and that we would own the house when they died without having to pay taxes. I knew I had signed some agreement of the sort back when I was living in denial, but I hadn't really understood it at the time. From what I remembered, they had donated only part of their house and we would have to sign another agreement later on. A few years ago, I wrote to the clerk to ask for a copy of that agreement and tell him I did not want to be part of any donation anymore. He never answered and I left things there.
** end of the boring details **
I couldn't care less about this donation. I don't want anything from them, and I plan to refuse their inheritance when they die. But the law stipulates that a donation can not be revoked unless the beneficiary has been "ungrateful" to the donor in one of the three following ways : (1) the beneficiary has made an attempt on the donor's life, (2) he or she had committed crimes, inflicted serious abuse or proclaim serious insults against the donor, or (3) he or she has denied to provide care to the donor when he was legally obliged to. The revocation has to be pronounced in a court of law. Hence the summons.
In a 11-page long document I received yesterday, my parents' lawyer argue that I was ungrateful to my generous donors... because I accused my father of sexual assaults and insulted him in the process, calling him a disgusting pig and other pretty names. The argument is not even based on the fact that my father was acquitted of the rape charges, as he claims to be innocent of the sexual assaults for which he was convicted. It says I blatantly insulted my father by accusing him of crimes he was found guilty of. Since I pressed charges, my parents life have become a living hell. And now because of me, my poor mother is all alone. Finally, they ask me to pay them 2000 € to cover their legal expenses.
I am in owe.
At first, I felt outraged to be cast as the bad guy again. And then I wondered : am I grateful to them? No, I am not. Nor should I. So be it, I am ungrateful to my undeserving parents. It would actually be kind of awesome to have it officially declared by a court of law.
And tonight's special episode
Thanks to the trial, I reconnected with two of my cousins (I had cut ties with the entire family). I called one of them today. She told me that my father just wrote a rather staggering letter to one of his brothers.
He says he forgives everyone in the family. He forgives me. And he hopes to live long enough to be able to enjoy a peaceful relationship with me.
I am stunned.
And scared. How could I ever be done with this man?
I have always been scared of him. For a short while after the trial, I thought I was free of that fear, at least for as long as he would remain in prison. But when I received the summons this week, my fear of him instantly came back. And now, I am back to wondering what comes next.
So he can scare me even from prison. This is depressing.
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