G
Gugudap
I feel ashamed of how low I am - again. I made progress and things were moving along but now I can't even tell if it's to do with the PTSD or something else or what, and I don't feel depressed again but I do feel like I'm holding on to a few threads and for what reasons I don't know.
Trying to open up has got me hurt over and over and I feel I'm lying to myself for saying it'll get better/it'll be different some day. I'm not getting younger and I am getting more and more tired of waking up every day. These days it feels as if I'm being taken by the wind, without knowing how or why or when or what. I feel LOST in so many ways. My inability to even put thoughts together in a coherent manner makes me feel so stupid and that just makes things worse.
I don't feel depressed but rather like I'm losing hope, and I'm afraid and alone right now.
Trying to open up has got me hurt over and over and I feel I'm lying to myself for saying it'll get better/it'll be different some day. I'm not getting younger and I am getting more and more tired of waking up every day. These days it feels as if I'm being taken by the wind, without knowing how or why or when or what. I feel LOST in so many ways. My inability to even put thoughts together in a coherent manner makes me feel so stupid and that just makes things worse.
I don't feel depressed but rather like I'm losing hope, and I'm afraid and alone right now.