M
MP7
So, I am Uber depressed. I’m a Infantry combat vet 6 Year’s out of active duty and still can’t adjust. I don’t feel like I have a mission to keep me going. I used to be an athlete and I trained for the game. I was a Soldier and I trained for war.
Now I can’t seem to get it together. I’ve been faking it for a long long time and everyonce in a while I just shut down. I’m there now and those episodes are getting more frequent. I spoke with a mental health therapist with the VA and while applying for an increase read her notes... Fukk that women. I’m so pissed off at her interpretation of my thoughts and answers I’ve lost faith in the VA mental health system. My grunt brothers will understand this, but i want to throat punch those pretentious *insert imagitive expletive*.
Now I feel like I can’t trust anyone, at all. To increase the fukkedupness, I have 4 kids under 7, wife, new house, stressful job, debt I can’t get out of, I don’t like people but fake like I do so as to appear normal, prefer alcohol as my medication of choice (no it has not interfered with any of the aforementioned but acts more as a balm... so far), am broke as shit physically from multiple surgeries while on AD even though I retain all my limbs, gained freaking 75# post service, and i decided to use my Post 9/11 for a PhD... WTF?!?!
Not expecting a response and don’t recommend to me to read any books about stress cups. Your a toad if you do and obviously don’t understand (you pretentious fool who assumes they know something about this because they went to school and got a piece of paper that says you do. Bah I got 3, does that make me smarter than you? Yeah combat arms guys are mean when faced with false, entitled arrogance. I know.).
Just tired of being labeled a victim or weak in polite terms from a field of people I’ve come to distrust. Just needed to vent...
Now I can’t seem to get it together. I’ve been faking it for a long long time and everyonce in a while I just shut down. I’m there now and those episodes are getting more frequent. I spoke with a mental health therapist with the VA and while applying for an increase read her notes... Fukk that women. I’m so pissed off at her interpretation of my thoughts and answers I’ve lost faith in the VA mental health system. My grunt brothers will understand this, but i want to throat punch those pretentious *insert imagitive expletive*.
Now I feel like I can’t trust anyone, at all. To increase the fukkedupness, I have 4 kids under 7, wife, new house, stressful job, debt I can’t get out of, I don’t like people but fake like I do so as to appear normal, prefer alcohol as my medication of choice (no it has not interfered with any of the aforementioned but acts more as a balm... so far), am broke as shit physically from multiple surgeries while on AD even though I retain all my limbs, gained freaking 75# post service, and i decided to use my Post 9/11 for a PhD... WTF?!?!
Not expecting a response and don’t recommend to me to read any books about stress cups. Your a toad if you do and obviously don’t understand (you pretentious fool who assumes they know something about this because they went to school and got a piece of paper that says you do. Bah I got 3, does that make me smarter than you? Yeah combat arms guys are mean when faced with false, entitled arrogance. I know.).
Just tired of being labeled a victim or weak in polite terms from a field of people I’ve come to distrust. Just needed to vent...