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Therapist Just Asked Me Not To Come Back

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Fadeaway

MyPTSD Pro
I made the mistake of sending my therapist an e-mail asking if she could address the trauma issues instead of spending the whole time..well, talking about how eventually we will get around to therapy. In the e-mail I addressed, I told her that I feel like I am bursting at the brim with the need to talk about some things, especially my grandfathers (former step grandfather in all actuality) death and explained to her that he was the closest thing I ever had to a parent. I also gave her so background info on my early childhood.

I also told her I wanted to address a particular flashback that has been increasing in frequency that has been increasing in frequency over the last 6 months.

So I go into day and she basically tells me not to come back. Yeah, she did the whole spiel about how sh cares but isn't the one to help me and that she doesn't have the training. Fair enough, I already figured that out and was planning only giving it a few more weeks anyways to see if progress could be made.

But dang, it is triggering serious abandonment issues no matter how much I try to rationalize it. I feel crushed and devastated even though I know I wasn't happy there and it wasn't helping.

Just that whole "nobody wants you, you are burden on everyone" I heard so much as a child.

I can't stress enough that I really am trying to rationalize it and tell myself that it isn't rejection when it was clearly not a good fit to begin with. I keep trying to tell myself that it IS NOT a reinforcement of past abandonment. know it shouldn't bother me so much, but it does.

I guess it is one of those things where my brain knows but not my heart.
 
I know what you are going through as I got dropped by my T on Monday. It hurts!
But hopefully you can move onto someone who is a better fit for you and can actually help and understand what you have been through. Also talking through how you feel about the end of this T with a new person will be helpful.
((hugs)) please be gentle with yourself
 
I think these situations are always difficult. I have MAJOR abandonment issues, and even at the slightest HINT that someone will leave, even if its a false alarm, my system goes haywire! Suffice to say, its a major area that I need to work on. Try to be gentile with yourself. This isn't easy stuff to deal with!
 
Simplistic reality is this and I am going to be blunt. You can choose to hold onto your past and live in that reality from this day forward or you can come to realize that your life is what you make of it by understanding one single truth. Every single day, hour, minute and second that passes there is only ONE PERSON that will always be there. YOU! YOU!! YOU!!!
YOU can tell me YOU know that? YOU can tell me that YOU understand? YOU can even try to make me believe that this is not the issue, but YOU want to know something? I have seen the bottom of Hell and learned one thing. I was always the one person that was there in everything I ever had to face or experience and I suffered the worst agonies because I was never happy with ME!
YOU have to be able to accept yourself before you can ever move on. Not what others think about YOU, but what YOU think about yourself. We all have stories and we all must face them eventually. The only way to do that is to be happy with yourself. I can crack a joke and be the only one that laughs without concern, because I am happy with who I am (not who others want me to be). I am who I am and that is what matters, because no matter what happens to me, I am the one that will ALWAYS be there.

You have to make a decision: Either you are going to live in the past and be that abused individual or you are going to step up and be who YOU were meant to be.

Out Here,
Patrick
 
Wow, @Aprooster74. I don't often (if ever) directly express annoyance, but I'm going to make an exception especially for you. I find your attitude rather abrasive. And I can't help wondering what you are doing on this forum if you have it all so wonderfully together.
We all have stories and we all must face them eventually.
Indeed. Quite so. Just right. So give people space to do just that.
 
I totally understand that this hurts but it is part of a T's training to recognise when they don't have the experience they need to help, it is part of their ethics to not get in over their heads - so try and turn it round and rather than looking at it that she rejected you, she does care about you and doesn't want to harm you by working with you in the 'wrong' way. I think it was important she was upfront with you, it is a shame she hasn't referred you on to someone who can help you, that would have made this a lot less stressful. Hope it works out that better things come from this for you.
 
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