• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Therapy Being Terminated Because I'm Too Suicidal?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Met today with my therapist. I've been trying to be honest with her about everything that is happening with me, which is a struggle - it's so hard to look someone in the eyes and tell them some of the most horrifying and horrible things that have happened to you and that you have done.

I told her some of the stuff that's been happening, none of which I find all that scary, but that she obviously does.

She told me that I'm at the limit of what she can tolerate and if I get any more suicidal or continue to self harm then I can't be seen in her practice anymore. (All the self harm has been super benign, surface scratches, and happens at most once per week). I'm panicked now. Caught between wanting to run away and wanting to try hard and just starting to lie about this stuff to her. I feel like she's over reacting. I was seen outpatient years ago when I was self harming up to five times a day and was scary suicidal/made suicide attempts. Nothing I'm experiencing now seems that bad.

Am I over reacting? Is she? I'm so confused by all of this.
 
Did you have any sort of an agreement on this matter prior to starting therapy that would speak on this topic, as to what types of clients she can take, ethically and profesionally?

You're not over reacting. I'm not sure how to advice otherwise as I don't know what issues is she legally and ethically allowed to address in which ways per US law & the state you're in specifically, nor what is the usual practice on this matter where you are, but it seems unprofessional of her to penalize you for coping mechanisms, without providing references to someone who can support you, if she isn't that person.
 
Personally, I would be inclined to ask her for references of trauma specialists in the area. It sounds like she's likely not one. It's completely overwhelming to start over, but it may be best. She has to set her own boundaries on what she feels capable of handling, but if she can't handle your symptom set and it's undermining your trust in her (understandably) you need to start looking for someone who can help you.

I'm sorry- I had a similar situation with someone deciding I was above her pay grade once I stated actually opening up and being honest about my feelings and symptoms. It's really painful and I don't think you're overreacting at all. There are a lot of therapists who just can't handle trauma survivors.
 
Sounds like she might have some issues herself. Of course, in case she can´t deal with things she experiences at her job, she should protect herself - as any human being should. If that be the case, she should search for help herself.

The way she put it - however - sounds unprofesional to me. Definitely. She should have at least told you where to seek help elsewhere and tell you it was her lack of coping mechanisms, not YOU.

You didn´t do anything wrong. Being honest with your therapist is the right thing to do. She should be trained to deal with such things... But not all therapists have experiences with trauma survivors.

Perhaps it might be helpful to talk to her about that - she might be able to refer you to somebody else, more educated on that field... I understand how difficult that might feel for you. But if she can not provide you the care you need, it would be better to search for somebody who can do that. Good luck...
 
I'm really sorry your therapist is treating you like this. Threatening a patient who is in clear distress to end therapy is wrong on so many levels!
You confided in her about what you're struggling with. That is a GOOD thing! I think her reaction is extremely unprofessional. Any licensed therapist should know better.

Ok, if she does not have the skills to help you at this point, she should tell you. But then she should also immediately refer you to someone who can help you.

As the people who reploed before me already said, she obviously has some issues of her own.

Anyway, to give you some advice, I agree with the others that you should talk to her about what she said and ask her for help in finding a therapist who has the knowledge and skills to help you. Is there anyone else you can talk to? A doctor, a friend, a family member? You do not have to go through this alone.
 
I agree, neither one of you are wrong. She just isn't in a position herself to give you the help you need. I actually think she is doing the professional thing to by being honest about her capabilities, but I do think she was wrong in making it sound like you were the one to blame, and by not acknowledging the strength it took you to tell her.
 
I don't think either of you are overreacting.

Try it from 20/20 hindsight... If you looked back and could see yourself that your therapist was clearly incapable of handling you during (difficult, middling, or even easy time) but said nothing??? Didn't give you the opportunity to shore up more/different support, look into other options/ help you look into other options? But just cheerily kept treating you even though you were clearly in need of more/ different/ better help? Giant waving red incompetence/ unprofessional flags there.

There are therapists who are trained, capable, and qualified to deal with someone in the middle of SH/SI.

That your therapist is admitting that she isn't? That you may need more/better care? That's a very good/honest thing. Because it does set you up for success / gives you time to work on other options (ideally WITH her... Okay, so if you feel out of your depth? Where should I be looking? What can we do?).
 
There are therapists who are trained, capable, and qualified to deal with someone in the middle of SH/SI.

This!!! Personally, I have been SI many, many times and in the beginning, I hid it. But in the last year, I don't and it's serious stuff. I've also SH a few times during visits! My T handles it beautifully....but he is also a certified trauma specialist.

She just may not be who you need right now, and unfortunately, it was it something you couldn't have navigated when so upset. She does have an ethical duty to help you find alternatives, work through the bump(if possible) and not abandon you.

Really, I'm just so sad this is happen to you.
 
I'm not entirely sure if she's saying you need someone more qualified to help with your issues or if she's trying to nudge/manipulate you into not hurting yourself so you can keep doing therapy with her.

My therapist is not freaked out by my self harm stuff and it has been helpful to feel like I don't have to hide everything (though some of it sucks a bit too much to talk about in any detail).

I'm curious too about any agreement you have, or goals...are there things you've worked on that she feels you aren't able to make use of so she's not feeling she is able to help you like you need? But also I wonder if she is willing to refer you to someone else if she really feels like she can't help you, because just threatening to drop you when she feels like you need more help would just be irresponsible. I hope you get some clarity. You should not have to hide your suffering and struggles from your therapist...totally counterproductive. Sorry it's so confusing right now. Before you let yourself lie about behaviors, could you ask her if she has other recommendations for therapy?
 
  • Like
Reactions: C j
I'm too exhausted to respond with any clarity tonight, but I did manage to find and reread the contract I signed when I started treatment. It's pretty vague, and just mentions that if at any point the clinician feels that the services are not enough, they can refer someone out. There's nothing about suicidal patients or self harm.

I'm frustrated, too, because the clinic completed a psych evaluation last July in order to determine if they could offer me treatment, and then decided to accept me into the practice. I was upfront with them, and now I feel like I'm being shuttled away even though they were the ones that offered me treatment in the first place.
 
  • Like
Reactions: C j
It sounds to me like this particular therapist just doesn't know how to respond to self-harm. I think that some therapists are so afraid of having a patient hurt/kill themselves that they prefer to pass any risky patients along. Unless you've had this therapist for a long time and she's seen you self harm before? in that case, i'd just chalk it up to her own personal issues
 
  • Like
Reactions: C j
I would feel angry with her myself, even if she's just being upfront. Best to get referred to someone better. :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: C j
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top