• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Therapy In Running

Status
Not open for further replies.

desiderata310

MyPTSD Pro
People some times ask me why I started running. And generally I give them some sort of cliff notes version of needing to find myself, etc etc. The truth is so much more than that. I needed to find something that would give me a purpose to get up in the morning. I had lost myself in my marriage and in the abuse that had taken over my spirit. With that spring I was trying with some desperation to find myself and reclaim some sense of who I am. I had lost so much and given so much ground. Running gave it back. I felt strong. I felt like the person I wanted to show the world. So I ran with the enthusiasm of a beginner on a mission.

It was that enthusiasm and new found joy that kept me running. That enthusiasm cost me trips to the doctors and physical therapist. It was on one trip that I was told no running for 3 months- till an IT band injury healed. I sat in the doctor's office and cried. I was lucky. The doctor I was seeing was a runner and a triathlete. He smiled at me kindly and asked if I was cross training. I didn't even know what that was.

Cycling? Swimming? He recommended that I start doing both. Start training for a triathlon and bring the running back into the equation in a few months. That sounded insane. It sounded unreasonable. It sounded like what I really needed. It has been what has saved me. It has been my salvation.

Some people go to church, some people meditate, some pray. I run. It is my church. It has been and is my therapy. Running; triathlon is my salvation.

My therapist, upon discovering my coping method recommended that I run as much as possible. Once I recovered from my latest injury, he started recommending distances. This week he recommended that for my long run I run 8 and found amusement when he found out that I didn't like to taper before a race.

The truth is that when things go wrong, when the world has turned from me, when things go sideways and I am scared of what will come next, I can run. In those quiet moments, I can silence my doubts, find peace in myself, and strength to push forward when I am terrified to do so otherwise. When people say lovely things like I am adventurous or 'so strong' what they are really seeing is the result of miles upon miles of running.

I run for sanity.
I run for strength and I run for clarity in a confusing and terrifying world.
I run so I can be strong for my kids.
I run because without running I am less of a person.
Yes, "I run very fast so I can stand very still."

It's been a difficult day today so, I ran.
 
I'm so glad you have this! Swimming is my escape, and where I feel the most ok and the most free. I have picked up running more and more, so that I can take my dog out with me for exercise too. It helps me get through so much. My therapist encourages it too. If my body would let me, I think I could swim for hours and hours.
 
That's fantastic.

For me it was smashing tennis balls shooting out of a machine hour after hour. But I tore my right gluteus maximus three times and that's the end of that. I walk, sometimes for hours. I miss going fast. Sometimes warmed up I will run a little and the stress release is fantastic, but I have to be gentle or I am grounded for 8 weeks again. I like to hit a punching bag, but I miss fast movement, and the freedom to move explosively when inspired.
 
I started running a year ago for my own mental well being as well! It has helped so much with my outlook and has helped me sleep better.

One of the biggest things I learned in running was that I can set goals, take steps toward them, and achieve them! That was brand new for me!

Something I have noticed, however, is that if I'm already anxious, running intensifies that anxiety. It helps with anger, despair, uncertainty, insecurity, and general stress, but if I'm anxious, I spend the whole run paranoid that someone is following me, worried that I'll pass out or get injured, etc.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top