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This is what happened when i asked for reassurance

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Agolu

After a long week of not seeing each other and feeling a little off I asked my combat PTSD for a little reassurance and asked if he could say something nice before we got off the phone for the night, and he responded by saying he felt really pressured. And this was after he had been asking me for reassurance all week, and I happily gave it every time. WTF?
 
Maybe it's just a man thing. I have noticed a pattern with men and difficulties giving reassurance.
 
When I ask for reassurance, or show any emotional insecurity around our relationship, he breaks up with me. Also combat vet. And maybe it is a man thing.
 
OP here. Just seems like such a double standard! I don't know whether to talk to him about how that made me feel or just "let it go" and remember that the next time he gets needy.
 
Mine told me he's done because....the *thought* I'd said I'm done. I hadn't. He also decided I was no longer worth it because I lost trust in him for dumping me when I needed him - he dumped me because he lost trust in me because he was triggered.

Counselor tries to point out that none of it makes sense? "It doesn't matter. The damage is done."

No one tries to claim PTSD makes sense. Or is fair. It really isn't.
 
I asked mine for a kiss goodbye this morning. (He had given me a half-hearted hug.) His response was "Give me a f*cking break!" and a very angry stare. FFS. Remind me why I bother?
 
Could be a PTSD thing but my experience is that it is typical of guys in general. Not all of course, but I know plenty of non male sufferers who act like giving reassurance is the most difficult thing in the world, and the people most willing to give reassurance are the female sufferers here and in real life.
 
There's absolutely nothing fair about ptsd. This is not a game you should be keeping score in.

My suggestion? Supporters, become experts on ptsd. Learn everything you can. Then, if you don't like your partner's reaction to being pressed, get out.
 
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