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This makes me sick

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Good for you I telling him to only handle things through the court system! That's a big step! Good luck getting him to do that.
Tempting as it is to stand up for yourself and your child, no matter how badly you want to be understood and clear your name...nothing you do or say will make a difference or stop his smear campaign. The only way to deal with someone like this and keep your sanity is to go 100% NO CONTACT. That's him, his family - any and all means he has at getting at you or to you. Anything more opens Pandora's Box for him to pounce on the chance to use anything and everything against you to make you look horrible and/or crazy (and his antics would probably provoke any normal person into overreacting just to feel heard and seen in such an unfair situation) and only serve to prove his point.

I truly believe in my gut he's playing games with you - and it's working. How many days, weeks, months has he cost you lost sleep, worry, fear, etc,? One minute too long.

No, 100% no contact won't fix that, but anything that provides even a little relief is awesome and a great beginning in a new and healthier direction.

Note: this is not an easy task, but there are websites that provide helpful information to get you started and you're welcome to message me (if that's possible) and I'm happy to share what I've learned and my experience with going no contact. ~ Namaste
 
You are not alone @Casey_03 and trying to stop all contact with him is you setting boundaries with ex-husband and at first he may squirm around like a little child who has been called up to the blackboard in school, and as he is learning that you are tired of putting up with his idle threats about custody.

For there is no judge in the land that would ever give him custody with his negative $ aide record, and negative visitation record of being a dead-beat dad, and not showing on a continuum love and support for his child. And whatever you do, for every little infraction and hurtful thing he may do i.e. calls, aggravate, threaten, etc., call the police and fill out a report against your ex so there will be continuing ongoing police reports on his every caustic and cruel move and action he takes against you (this will hurt him) and the police department encourages this type of reporting for your safety. And every call is another, and then another strike against him that he is unfit not only as a father, and also as a human being in his overt cruel behaviors that have gone on far too long enough. Document every move he makes at attempting to disrupt your life and your child's life. And this will stop as he will have no alternative other than to obey the restraining order against him that I also hope and pray you take out against him as well!

You know @casey whether or not you stop 100% all contact with ex, and even if you do nothing, he will continue his boundary-crossing negative behaviors and verbal threats as he's been at this type of cruelty against you and your child for quite some time now, right? And for you to take a stand for your own peace, security/protection, etc. is a very positive step in the right direction and you are now telling this hurtful person that "I'm not going to take it anymore!" And I would never advocate no contact with a child's father, yet this man has never fathered a child, he was just a sperm donor, and also a terroristic threatening sperm donor at best.

And if you do not contact the police and document this man's behaviors now, this is a problem and has been same and will not get any better, in fact best prediction of future behaviors is past behaviors so it may ramp up more may if you do not stand your ground, and let this poor excuse for a father know that he is not pushing you around anymore, and he's not going to disrupt your life at will ANYMORE! Yes, I do understand this is hard to do and he may not like it, tough titty said the kitty but the milk's still good. He's not happy in his personal life and there are people that will wreak havoc in the lives of seemingly vulnerable people because of this, and from what I've read in this thread, you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of him harassing you, right?!

I believe that is what you are saying as well is it not, when you put both feet firmly on the ground and tell him to leave you the h*** alone and this man is a bully in short for what I really want to call him for abandoning his child and not giving care to his child, and not making child support payments for his child to grow up and thrive. I have nothing but disdain for this man, and I am saddened that he has caused you so much cruetly, ill will, and sheer pain, and this will continue unless you say No, stop, and I'm through taking crap off of you, buddy.

I am here and so grateful you posted again here, for I have been praying like h*** that you are alright, and that you are being proactive against his cruelty and menacing (harassing) behaviors against you. I hope others come on and post as before and support and encourage you to stand up and push back against this man who seemingly never has acted like the responsible father to your precious child @Casey_03. Jade
 
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