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This May Explain It All - My Partner Was Sexually Abused As a Child

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by deadblonde, Feb 5, 2007.

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  1. deadblonde

    deadblonde New Member

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    My partner of 2 years experienced sexual abuse by a neighbour as a child. He regularly has insomnia unless he is sleeping with me (is that normal for PTSD?), has had nightmares, has some OCD traits along with some hypochondria and paranoia. I really didn't think though that the abuse continued to be an issue as our relationship was amazing for the first 2 years. However, about a month ago just as we were on the brink of becoming engaged, he starts questioning everything and has been emotionally numb since, says he feels paralyzed about any decision. This has been hell and I haven't known whats been going on. I've been pushing for something from him and I'm just pushing him further away.

    This numbness is not something I've ever seen in him before - this normally warm caring person is COLD. He's ready to walk.

    Do all these things sound like PTSD?
     
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi deadblonde, welcome to the forum. From what you explain above, no it doesn't sound like PTSD, as there is a lot more too it. If you and he filled out the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/forms/ptsd-diagnosis/"]PTSD Diagnosis[/DLMURL], and the result from that came back fitting most of the ranges within this disorder, then I would say he needs to see a shrink immediately, therapist also, because it could be present.

    Not everyone who experiences trauma, abuse and so forth develops PTSD, actually quite a small range in most cases actually develop it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2015
  4. Celt

    Celt Member

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    Hi there,
    I'd recommend you read a good book on CSA survivors.
    "Victims no longer" by Mike Lew,aimed at the survivors but i found it an invaluable read or "Allies in healing:When the paerson you love was sexually abused as a child" by Laura Davis
    Quite often with CSA survivors they are "ok" and "coping" until some big life-change happens or even when they reach what can be seen as a "place of safety" such as their 1st "good" relationship and that's when the "Sh*t hits the fan" The same thing happened to us.My partner told me about his abuse before we got together,it didn't seem an issue...pretty soon it was the main issue in his life.
    The answer (if there is one) is getting good support for him,getting yourself some support,and knowing that the CSA issues are his to deal with,you can be supportive,but you have to keep hold of"you" as it's too easy to allow the sh*t to take over both of your lives.
    Four years down the line,my partner has learnt to deal with the cr*p as it comes along,it won't go away(same as his military cr*p) but he deals with it.
    All the best
    Celt
     
  5. Celt

    Celt Member

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    Anthony,
    Can i ask what you edited my post for,out of curiosity?
    Celt
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    It had [size] tags at the end.
     
  7. Istari

    Istari New Member

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    Hi Deadblonde,

    I'm talking here from my own personal experience. I've been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood sexual abuse and from military service. Everything you list there I have been through and some of it I still have.

    some of the symptoms of ptsd include paranoia, anxiety, megga levels of stress.

    I have been working through my cr*p for about 4 years (I think, memory is funny, lots of the time), I can agree with anthony about you guy seeing his gp etc, as you both will need a lot of help through this.

    I'm sure you didn't put everything down that he is going through in your post, so as someone who is a CSA PTSD & MILITARY PTSD survivor & knows a lot of CSA survivors & uk military vets, I would say yes he has got ptsd.

    The books Celt recommended you read are some of the ones that helped me (and still do), sorry to put it this way, but I've been there, I've done that and I've burn't the t-shirt.
     
  8. Celt

    Celt Member

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    OK,cheers for that
     
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