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Sufferer Thought i was over "this" until my mom died...

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Jeneba54

New Here
Hi everyone! I am a newby here, but have had PTSD for many years and have been doing fairly well for quite a while.

My Mom passed away on July 13th after a long illness that combines the worst of ALS and Parkinson's. I thought I was ready to sustain the loss and the complicated grief, and was doing as well as could be expected - sad, numb, isolating, avoidant - but basically OK.

I took three weeks off from my Serious Desk Job.

When I came back, I found out there had been a computer "upgrade" and the "improvement" had not only wiped out my Away Message, but my computer didn't work for about three days.... No one understood why I wasn't responding to emails, people in the office did almost nothing to take up the slack, I had three weeks of work to catch up on.

I went ballistic! I still cannot control my emotions. I am irritable and jumpy. I yell at people. I am irrational. I am eating too much, have no interest in exercise, and am passive aggressive about paying my bills on time.

It took me a while to figure it out, but - OF COURSE! It is PTSD all over again! NO WONDER! I think I could have dealt with the grief OK, but the crap at my office is what put me over the top. It isn't so much the grieving process I need help with, it is the PTSD symptoms.

I would really welcome some thoughts on how to deal with this better than I have been.

Thanks!
 
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. When things get stirred up, symptoms tend to flare. That makes it difficult to process the grief, because your overloaded with symptoms. I think it's great that you've recognized what's happening.

Are you in therapy? If not, that might be helpful.

I find that odd about your email. A computer upgrade shouldn't impact your email auto response that I'm aware of.
 
Hello Muted!
Thanks so much for your response!!!!

About the IT stuff.... Oh yeah - it sure is ODD.... Part of my "out of control" terror stems from people in my office who never consider the long term consequences of their actions.

As for recognizing the PTSD symptoms, I am thinking that it is a nice testament to how well I have been healing that I didn't recognize the pattern sooner! It is nice to know I could be "surprised" about PTSD. LOL

I haven't been in therapy for a while because life was going along fairly well for many years. But if I find I am still overwhelmed in a few weeks, I will see if I can find Someone To Talk With.

Thanks again for your support!
 
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