Louise1988
New Here
After 19 years of PTSD, depression, anxiety and voices. I thought that I had won, "recovered". Then it became clear that it was all a facade. I am not recovered. I am nothing. I will not do this now, or maybe even soon. But I am sure I will die at my own hand. It came to me with absolute clarity as I drove home from seeing my parents. Since then I haven't stopped thinking about it. It is calm and not scary, until I look at the person I love and then I am consumed by horror. How I can think these things while he looks at me with those beautiful eyes?
I suppose I will say this during therapy. It sounds so strange, so melodramatic. I have no interest in the drama. It is EMDR therapy and not particularly preoccupied with my day to day feelings. But I will tell him because I can, there isn't much he can do- there is no immediate threat to my life. I have tried so many times before but there has been a 5 year break from all of that and hospitals etc. I won't flag anything up. It will be nice to say it.
I suppose I will say this during therapy. It sounds so strange, so melodramatic. I have no interest in the drama. It is EMDR therapy and not particularly preoccupied with my day to day feelings. But I will tell him because I can, there isn't much he can do- there is no immediate threat to my life. I have tried so many times before but there has been a 5 year break from all of that and hospitals etc. I won't flag anything up. It will be nice to say it.
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