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Tortured In California/possible Ptsd

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Deleted member 30651

Hi. I'm going to try posting on this forum because I guess I was tortured in small-town, suburban California recently. I wasn't physically harmed, but I was harassed with threats and hateful comments to an extent that could be described as cruel and inhuman. Some of what I heard was:

"They'll kill." "They're raping me." "They're raping." "I'm a sex trafficking." "Coke whore." "Go home, or you'll lose your life." "Do coke and do tricks." "Math." "We love seeing you suffer." "Faggot." "Pauper." "You're banned." "You're banned for life." "The ban's permanent." "It's a concentration."

For a while I couldn't sleep at night, and I went through my days exhausted and unable to focus. A couple of times I had thoughts of suicide. Other times I thought I heard the comments repeated, maybe hours after I'd first heard them. I know that suicide is not an option, so I've focused my efforts on doing what I can to improve the situation. Likely this means moving away and living somewhere else.

I'm a professional with a master's in literature. I've been working very part-time as a freelance writer, volunteering, and searching for a full-time job.

Does anyone have any advice?
 
Would you be willing to explain a little more? Who said these things? They were all aimed at you? I am also a bit confused by the word "math" thrown in there.
 
I'm not sure. I do think the comments were directed at me. I also think I heard the word "mafia" used, so maybe the "who" was criminal in nature...
 
We can't help you unless you craft this into a situation we can understand - which you clearly have the skills to do. Can you provide contextual detail for:
I guess I was tortured in small-town, suburban California recently. I wasn't physically harmed, but I was harassed with threats and hateful comments to an extent that could be described as cruel and inhuman.

What was the situation the harrassment occurred in, what initiated it - if you can share more information, it would help people respond.
 
That must have been very disturbing for you. Have you spoken to a therapist? If not, that should be your first move. You'll find that getting into therapy is heavily stressed here.
 
It happened in a residential area when I was at home. I've been living with my parents temporarily to save on rent. It started a few months ago, and I could hear the comments inside the house—"They're raping me," "Kill the f----er," "Ryan, they'll kill you," "Do the coke," "This is Dachau," "You f-ing faggot," "They're killing Jewish girls," etc. I have tried therapy…It can help with the symptoms, but it doesn't address the cause.
 
So you're looking for ideas how to mantain your physical security, you're looking for ways how to frame this for a therapist visit, you're thinking of reporting this, you want help dealing with the emotional impact, you're looking for help sorting yourself out on this or?

Welcome in every case, sorry you're in distress. I'm just bit confused as to your objective here, but I'm glad you're reaching out, kudos on that.
 
I'm especially looking for ways I might minimize the impact this kind of harassment has on me psychologically. The harassment has been ongoing, seemingly for weeks now. I tried reporting it to the local police, even the U.S. Attorney's office, but they weren't interested. Listening to a jazz radio station helps a little, but it makes it hard to focus during the day…I'm not sure if I was hearing some of those comments repeated after the fact, but maybe that could be a kind of PTSD.
 
I'm especially looking for ways I might minimize the impact this kind of harassment has on me psychologically.
What you need to do is go and see your doctor, who will then likely send you to a neurologist or psychiatrist. From what you describe, the voices you are hearing may be auditory hallucinations, in which case you don't want to focus on minimizing the distress they cause you, you actually want to focus on eliminating them. Do these voices happen at the same time your parents are around, and can they hear them as well? That can be a good way to determine whether it is a hallucination or not.
For a while I couldn't sleep at night, and I went through my days exhausted and unable to focus. A couple of times I had thoughts of suicide. Other times I thought I heard the comments repeated, maybe hours after I'd first heard them. I know that suicide is not an option, so I've focused my efforts on doing what I can to improve the situation. Likely this means moving away and living somewhere else.
It's clear that hearing these voices is causing you some real distress, and I'd like to emphasize again that your focus can go to eliminating the voices.

Can you ask your parents for help with this?
 
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