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Totally Lost My Ability To Look After Myself

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When things are bad for me, 20 minutes is wholly out of reach. My clockwork timer is my friend if I s...

Cheers Sandstone,

I've cleared the spaces I needed to so the guy can get in! It's amazing what some witnessing and support can do. I feel tearful.
I'm about to wash a set of clothes to use as FridayJones as mentioned. This is a great idea as I seem to just wear the same few items anyway! The rest I'll pack away. Although I don't that will be today.

Also a friend called a reminded me whilst I was clearing things, that this stuff, the critic etc isn't who I am. She also wants me to meet her later. I'm going to try hard to do that.

Thanks for your support. It really means a lot.
 
@NatBird:

I think I can empathize with what you are going through. Around 2008 I w...

Thank you for sharing that.

It feels like on some level that's what I've been going through for 2.5-3 years.

I've got from being physically fit and healthy to waking up in pain, tight tension ridden body and unable to motivate myself enough to do consistent exercise that helps my esteem and body so much.

I've never been the most domestic but alwaya managed to keep the space fairly tidy. Now just always a mess.

Blah blah. I'm glad you had support. I think I have too, if only I would let people in to help me. I'm trying.

What was it that got things moving. I know you said therapy but can you say a little more if comfortable?
 
Well done. I'm glad you motivated yourself like that, and also that you are able to recognise you are knackered. In my experience it is essential to pace myself so that the moves I make are sustainable.
 
Well done. I'm glad you motivated yourself like that, and also that you are able to recognise you are...

Thank you.

The guy came and he's lovely. The job will cost me £300-400 quid..ouch. I have a little savings. I'm thinking that I really need to do this for myself. It feels hard. Do you have trouble with giving yourself what you need?

I've just put the wash on. Once that's done I'll focus on some self care for the rest of the day.

Thanks again for the support:)
 
Then I did
Well done you :happy:
And we'll done for recognising this...
knackered now!
And the need for this...
focus on some self care for the rest of the day.
:tup:
Do you have trouble with giving yourself what you need?
Yup :rolleyes: in fact most of the time I still struggle to even know what I need! But giving to myself is incredibly difficult and usually come with a long head argument about worth and (not) deserving stuff etc
 
The medical issues tend to flare when I'm feeling stress and self hatred.

Mine do as well. My chronic pain is worse, I sometimes get sick etc. I just wanted to make sure you've gotten medical issue out of possiblity that cause exhaustion and low engery like chronic fatique for instance or thyroid issues and many others that cause that.

Everything else? Not your responsibility. Not until it can be. The only things you're responsible for are what's in the bag.

Yes, simplfying helps me too. I allow the dishes to be dirty and my coffee table to be cluttered and my floors to gather pet hair. I manage to do what I can or when I can.

BUT, for me, it got to the point where I couldnt go outside of my house or take a shower and was forgetting to eat etc. So i concentrated on eating. Posted about it, got wonderful replies, applyed them and it worked. And then focused on another so that i was eating, taking showers etc. I dont actually pack a bag but do it mentally. A bag might help you. Everyone is different

You can get stuck in it and thats why i opened the curtins. Sunlight does wonders. I then sit and think of something small i.can do and do it and all my focus is on that. I do better when focused so may not work for all.

Then after i finish that task i give myself permission to rest but focus myself on a new task and do it etc.

"Bulling through it" is exhausting and only do it for work and other things I dont have a choice on. Its easier to simplify and only add things when you can. And make sure sunlight is always coming in.
 
A very timely post for me as I have to move. Place is being demolished. Moving is a huge trigger for me. Long list of physical issues and growing. Food has started being an issue a few years ago. Vomiting, not from nausea, just sudden immediate, violent. So the kitchen is a horror. Every once in a while I get the energy to want to cook properly, but then get sick and the clean up…. is beyond me. Then the self loathing for being a slob.

I'm trying the Fridayjones route with this move. Keep things manageable. No food that I think I might be able to cook, and then a fridge full of rotting food.

Also never really moved in here. Boxes laying around. Easier to move, but hated my self for having to look at them and not being able to unpack. And yeah, clothes, wear the same most of the time, so get them off the damn couch and put away for good. Part of that was little to no storage, switching out seasonal….

GoodWill run. Loads of books in piles going to the library.

Dump all the vitamins I can't take as I gag and vomit though my body needs them.

Different kind of purge. In total melt down with no help. This post is helping. thanks to all for insights.
 
I'm not liking your post because I like that it is that way for you, just acknowledging. That you still have your creativity is a very good sign, but I can relate to at least some of the inability to care for yourself. Just wondering, is it something about it being you that you would have to care for that makes it hard, or is it just not having the energy? If it were someone else you had to care for, would you be able to do that?

Think I need to read through this thread carefully... while not all of this applies, there are some similarities. I hope there is some advice that works for you.
 
This year, I've had a level of self-neglect that is the worst I've ever been - I spent a day in hospital after failing to drink enough water for several days, even. The first thing I did when I realized what was going on was to start seeing my therapist much more often.

In my case, the cause seems to be some processing that I hadn't done (not much of a surprise really) - some really really difficult and painful processing. However, before I could do that processing, I needed to put a higher priority on doing enough self-care to keep myself alive. In the meantime, the only things that made the pain bearable were things that I consider creative.

Now that I'm starting to come out the end of it, I can see that it's been good for me - giving birth to a stronger version of myself. But childbirth is tiring, painful, and sometimes dangerous. Please recruit people to care for you (from the outside, if the inside isn't doing well) and take care.
 
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