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Toward My Healing

Discussion in 'General' started by Marilyn_S, Mar 25, 2007.

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  1. Marilyn_S

    Marilyn_S Well-Known Member

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    I was in worship service this morning and the pastor asked, "What happens after the Lord's supper? Do we feel peace. Does life instantaniously become easy?"

    Of course his question was retorical. I approached him following the service and told him about my battle with PTSD. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and asked me if he could pray for me. I said yes. I do not remember what he prayed but I remember what the Lord placed upon my heart to share with my friends on this forum. It is as follows:

    DSM-IV-TR / PTSD (Chronic Delayed) 309.81, is like having an infection that reoccures time and time again causing a big sore on the soul. The sore swells up with "flash bulb / sensory / and physical" memories of reoccuring trauma experienced with frequency-intensity-and duration either during childhood, adolescense, or sometimes even in past adulthood. However, if put in a perspective of spiritual strength it can become like "the Chicken Pox". Most people only have this childhood infection once even though the virus that causes it remains in the body lifelong. From a Spiritual perspective PTSD is like a big infected sore. I have come to realize in my spiritual walk with Christ that God is my lancet. God is the one who penetrates the sore and pierces it so that the infectious memories can bleed out. However, I have also come to realize that there is a spiritual entity that is against the grain of my healing. Satan wants to add more infectious lies to my PTSD sore in order to destroy me, make me feel insiginificant, inferior, foolish... God knows that the memories are infectious and can cause peritonitis, that is the purpose of flashbacks. But Satan knows we are weak when we are hurting so He will try to reimplant the lies that where sewed into the fabric of our being when we were traumatized. That is why Jesus is so important to me. He is with me all the time. I am not dead, I am alive! When I am hurdled up in a ball in the middle of my bed or the floor and I am weeping arduously, Jesus is the lancet for my infected sore. He is steril and only the truth rests in Him. As I am learning to utilize the strength of the Holy Spirit in my life, I am learning, through my willingness and the love God placed within me to humbly heal. It is a lifelong process, and sometimes I have to acquire my Holy Spirit antibiotic by crying and praying, but I am willing to continue this journey as I see the beauty of Gods creation in my husband and kids. If you are reading this and havn't read "Legend of the Small Green Viper" in the general chat forum, if you get a chance, read it. God has helped me many times with sweet and subdued words of loving encouragement.

    Love All,
    Marilyn
     
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Marilyn, please be warned now to approach how you refer your religion towards others cautiously. This forum is not for any person to spread their love of their god, or any other religious entity. This forum is for PTSD. I am noticing an onward trend in your posts to push Jesus, God and your religion. Talking about your religion focused upon you is one thing, but trying to push it to others here is another. Posts will be edited if continued.
     
  4. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    i have read things on this forum that have helped me so much but not one as powerful as this one. Thank you .
     
  5. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    I thank you for all of your thoughts Marilyn S.

    I am sorry others can't just take them as your thoughts ,,, your opinions
    ,,, and your beliefs ,,,,, and leave it at that .........

    I will stop with that as to not ruin this responce with the rest of my THOUGHTS on one others opinions of what you wrote ,,, ,,, no I won't even put up the smilies I'm thinking of ,,,, ,, ,, ,, Beatle
     
  6. Marilyn_S

    Marilyn_S Well-Known Member

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    Anthony,

    I will never post that I'm praying for someone unless I know they are a Christain and would welcome it. As for the post above. If you edit it you would be editing my heart. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Watch all you want, edit all you want, after all, this your forum, not mine. I'm just part of the community of PTSD sufferers trying to heal by sharing my heart with others. Just because my heart differs from yours does not mean I'm pushing my GOD! MY GOD DOESN"T NEED ME TO PUSH ANYTHING. (That is my oppinion) and if I am not free to express my oppinion then how can I gat healing? I merely made a suggestion in the post above for those who would be interested in reading "Legend of the small green viper" I will try to be careful as possible. I want you to know, even though we have a difference of oppinion I still admire you are care about you very much as a fellow PTSD survivor. That has nothing to do with my faith, it has everything to do with my humanity ... Love & Care, Marilyn S.
     
  7. Eagle3

    Eagle3 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for this thread Marilyn...I really needed to know from someone other than my mother that God understands PTSD. THANK YOU!!!
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    I am adding a response that I made in private message to this thread, my part only, so people can get a better understanding of this issue:

    This pertains not only to religion, but politics, etc etc.... opinions are one thing, but pushing your beliefs onto others is a completely different kettle of fish, so to speak. I value topical conversation, but topical ends the moment every post becomes sighted to one aspect of life, ie. religion, hatred, aggressive, passive, etc etc. I don't put up with someone telling themselves in every thread they are worthless beings, so why would I tolerate anyone on the opposite end, ie. religion being a saving grace. A thread is one thing, introducing these types of discussion into many threads and posts is a completely different thing, hence where I draw the line as an editor of the forum and stop things in their tracks, regardless who does it, myself included. I live by my own rules, or certainly try to anyway.

    This type of thing is like saying, I can stand in front of that bullet and God will stop me from being hurt. Nonsense, you will end up dead is the realism of the situation. Keep things realistic, and I am more than happy with most conversations. Get off realism, and then I begin to watch closely.
     
  9. willing

    willing Active Member

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    Marylin,
    Just keep talking about yourself. We want you here.
    Patty
     
  10. Marilyn_S

    Marilyn_S Well-Known Member

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    Anthony,

    I am writing this here instead of in a PM because I want others to know it is OK and I understand you. You have always been so kind to me. Even when there are things I do not want to hear or when I may be misunderstanding you or you may be misunderstanding me. I will be careful. I believe what you said about the bullet. I also know the bullet is PTSD and its from someone else's gun! God is helping me but you are right, GOD is no (Morphene or LSD) God just helps. Like the heroic figure David, I must be willing to fight. You have been so helpful to me. Is it OK if I keep my faith talk in this thread? If you want, you can even move my thoughts on spirituality thread here. I am glad to be here and thankful.

    (SHLLILBIT, BB, EAGLE 3, & WILLING)
    Thank you so much for your kind support and understanding. I feel both accepted and cared about! I look forward to getting to know you all better as we share, support, grow, and undertake this lifelong journey called healing. Love to you all!
     
  11. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    Love right back to you. i hope your doing better. sorry i have been out a couple of days. keep healing keep writing posting as you help others as well as yourself. I too am thankful for this place and the honest caring people and comments. Take care Mar. I.J.N. slhlilbit
     
  12. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    Marilyn ,, ,, ,, It is always good to hear fro you ,,,, maybe one day I will be abell to post my Diary as openly is you ,,, ,, ,, but it will have to surfice , , that I have confessed all in my behavior to God and another humanbeing as AA sugjests ,, ,, ,, ,,and with many others since ,,, ,, , I have gone threw the tramendous pain that many hear are still suffering from ,,, ,, ,, ,, and when I got in my last car whreck it all came back so bad I could not drive for about 8 or 9 months ,, and my friend told me of this site and this forum helped bring me back to as sain as I can be ,, ,, ,, ,, ,, but some things I to have a hard time with ,,, ,, ,, but I have always had a hard time with rools,,,

    One day I will have a prive talk with Anthony about our differance of opinions on some subjects ,, ,, ,, ,, but He has helped me too ,,, ,,, and I can leave a dead dog lie ,, ,, when the time is right for me to have a productive convesation ,,, ,, ,, I will ,,, ,, ,, ,,, but for now I just leave my thoughts about cetain thing be ,, ,, ,, because I get more out of this than I can say ,, ,, ,, Beatle
     
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