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Transference with one t and not the other who to choose?

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He replied back and was sooooo kind about it! Now I’m totally regretting my choice (not a shocker) and thinking he’s the greatest thing in the world. I’ve seen him a total of 2 times and the first time I didn’t think I would leave alive. Transference is crazy!! :laugh:
 
You did the right thing. You had already attached to him in a manner that you knew was a bit questionable and COULD impede your true work. Maybe swing back around to him after you have done the necessary work on yourself. Maybe... lol. Very proud of your good choice.
 
You did the right thing. You had already attached to him in a manner that you knew was a bit questionabl...
I wish I had as much confidence in my decision as you! I keep thinking “what if he was the one that could save me?” Which is funny because I don’t need saving...
 
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It's interesting that your inner child voice says "what if he was the one that could save me" but your a...
Ha. No can do. Therapy with new t is only about the goals I set. Nothing involving really vulnerable stuff. She only has availability every 2 weeks so I have to set some boundaries for myself with what I can talk about. Plus adding in unnecessary emotion could lead to more attachment. It’s warm but detached. It’s perfect.
 
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Overall on this forum, I have noticed a trend. It is either of a PTSD sufferer debating switching therapists, or posting a question, and others suggesting the individual should consider a new therapist. One of the key features in PTSD is AVOIDANCE. Yes, you're uncomfortable. But if we keep running from things that make us uncomfortable, then we are simply perpetuating our symptoms and thusly, our PTSD. I hate it break it, but therapy isn't going to be a wonderful walk in the park, and if it's not, the only thing standing in your way is the therapist you're walking with. No. Sorry. It doesn't work that way. It's going to get ugly. Real ugly. But what's important it the therapist we have ISN'T going to walk away and leave us drowning on our own. They will be there through the ugly, the good, and the maybe okay times. I'm a bit of a hypocrite writing this post, but I'm working on it myself.

It's great that you feel in control with one therapist, but with the other....unless something is entirely detrimental to your well-being and she communicates to you that she cannot meet your needs, I would say stick with the one who is supporting you while stuff is coming up for you. Yes, we have a huge say in what we want to work on, but it is highly unlikely we are going to pick looking in places where we've stashed our trauma - otherwise we wouldn't be attending therapy in the first place!

Hope that makes sense. It was a little bit of a talk to myself too, so please don't read too much into it if it comes off harshly. My only goal is to share alternative perspectives :)
 
Overall on this forum, I have noticed a trend. It is either of a PTSD sufferer debating switching...
No I really appreciate the alternate perspective! My logic was that I already went through 2 and a half years of transference hell and want to try the comfortable route for my particular goals at the moment. He said his door is always open so if I want to explore the feelings that have been coming up and all the others that will surface then I know a guy who brings them out, you know? I’ve only met with him twice so not even sure he could handle the transference although I’m guessing he could. If after a month or two with the other one I don’t notice any huge benefits to talking to her then I’ll shoot him an email and try again. It would just be a huge emotional investment.
 
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He replied back and was sooooo kind about it! Now I’m totally regretting my choice (not a s...
In my opinion those strong anxouis feelings are a warning to you that this person is not emotionally safe. I would heed the warning and go with the counselor whom you feel most safe with. In my opinion you can't get work done if you don't feel safe. Your young parts may have wishes for a kind a man to help you finally, but, those wishes can lead you down the wrong path. Working with trauma, you will in my opinion have times of transference with the counselor you feel most comfortable with. It will surprise you when it happens. But at least she is trauma informed and the two of you can work through it together. My thoughts based on some horrible experiences in therapy with non-trauma informed counselors who think they have skills but don't even have understanding.
 
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My thoughts based on some horrible experiences in therapy with non-trauma informed counselors who think they have skills but don't even have understanding.

I have had those experiences too. It can do a lot of harm.
 
I’m not sure. I was afraid of him before I even met him.... I felt more comfortable after. I think it’s just mega transference. I feel like if I stick it out I’ll find my answer. Either I’ll grow or I’ll be murdered lol.
 
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