I'm rarely triggered anymore, however, in a hockey game a couple of weeks ago I had a teammate who is generally mild mannered get in my face, yelling and cussing me out for making a bad play. A play that I thought was the right decision. I already felt bad and his behavior was excessive given the situation. It was a minor mistake on my part. The weird thing is the guy is always smiling and joking with people. He seems to be well liked but something about him seemed selfish. He's late every game, he orders me around sometimes, he compliments himself.
His tone was violent and I thought he might hit me which I could not understand why he'd be so angry. I froze and just nodded. Anything to get him away from me. It struck me as slightly psychotic and now I'm fixated on it. I haven't felt this way in awhile and it's affecting me way too much. The first week when I thought about it I'd pace back and forth yelling, mad at myself, thinking of how I'm gonna call him out on it in front of the team. Now it's been several weeks and it's too late. People will think I'm holding a grudge and being petty but I'm gonna hold a grudge. I don't even want to be in the same building as this guy. I just feel waited down with negative energy. My chest hurts, I'm stressed, even a little scared. I've been through enough abusive from strangers and family. I never expected I'd deal with this from a teammate, maybe an opponent. It was like a switch flipped in the guys head and it was all of a sudden Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde. I can't handle that kind of malice and unpredictability anymore.
His tone was violent and I thought he might hit me which I could not understand why he'd be so angry. I froze and just nodded. Anything to get him away from me. It struck me as slightly psychotic and now I'm fixated on it. I haven't felt this way in awhile and it's affecting me way too much. The first week when I thought about it I'd pace back and forth yelling, mad at myself, thinking of how I'm gonna call him out on it in front of the team. Now it's been several weeks and it's too late. People will think I'm holding a grudge and being petty but I'm gonna hold a grudge. I don't even want to be in the same building as this guy. I just feel waited down with negative energy. My chest hurts, I'm stressed, even a little scared. I've been through enough abusive from strangers and family. I never expected I'd deal with this from a teammate, maybe an opponent. It was like a switch flipped in the guys head and it was all of a sudden Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde. I can't handle that kind of malice and unpredictability anymore.