I use a sleep mask. A minute or so after saying goodnight, my husband patted me on the nose, which set off my absurd startle reaction. I wanted to run from the room and hide somewhere safe.
I took the mask off, and said absolutely calmly "I've asked you several times times not to do that. I know I'm crap" He said nothing, and turned out his light. I know he can't apologise, so I didn't expect it. I soothed myself by imagining cutting myself out of history, rolling up the shreds and sending into space to vanish as a minute speck amongst the stars.
I feel so guilty. Do I explain again, or ask him what he is wanting to achieve when he does it? It may that he wants sex, which I can't do at the moment, or it may be that he thinks it is a joke and has forgotten it isn't funny for me. I know he would prefer not to talk about it at all, he isn't a talking kind of person.
I took the mask off, and said absolutely calmly "I've asked you several times times not to do that. I know I'm crap" He said nothing, and turned out his light. I know he can't apologise, so I didn't expect it. I soothed myself by imagining cutting myself out of history, rolling up the shreds and sending into space to vanish as a minute speck amongst the stars.
I feel so guilty. Do I explain again, or ask him what he is wanting to achieve when he does it? It may that he wants sex, which I can't do at the moment, or it may be that he thinks it is a joke and has forgotten it isn't funny for me. I know he would prefer not to talk about it at all, he isn't a talking kind of person.