DogwoodTree
MyPTSD Pro
When I was 19 I started having trouble breathing. This was about the same time I reported my step-dad for abuse, right after I left for college. At first we thought it might be asthma, and had all kinds of tests done. My doctor wrote across my chart in big letters "STRESS", and closed the investigation.
My psychiatrist dx'd panic attacks, even though I don't usually feel fear or anxiety when I have trouble breathing. I know I'm not dying...I just can't seem to get "enough" air in my lungs, even though I'm way over-oxygenated.
It feels kind of like...trying to breathe normal-pressure air when you're deep underwater. When scuba diving, you must breathe pressurized air to compensate for the increased pressure from the water around you. So it feels like the air coming into my lungs just isn't...enough.
Does anyone else experience this? For me, it goes most of the day, especially when I'm trying to relax, like sitting at my desk or watching TV. My T suggested it's like...safety itself is a trigger. Relaxing is too dangerous, and so my body responds with heightened energy.
It's exhausting to be struggling all day trying to get air deep enough into my lungs to feel like I've actually breathed. Sometimes the act of taking a breath is actually repulsive...a strain on my already tight and exhausted shoulders and back and neck. My throat gets tighter, and I have a hard time getting air through without gagging.
Relaxation techniques make it worse, focusing on breathing makes it worse, even my usual "grounding" techniques make me feel more charged and overwhelmed. It's almost like being a live electrical wire hanging near the ground, and providing a link to the ground would only create disaster. It's safer in that case to prevent grounding.
My psychiatrist dx'd panic attacks, even though I don't usually feel fear or anxiety when I have trouble breathing. I know I'm not dying...I just can't seem to get "enough" air in my lungs, even though I'm way over-oxygenated.
It feels kind of like...trying to breathe normal-pressure air when you're deep underwater. When scuba diving, you must breathe pressurized air to compensate for the increased pressure from the water around you. So it feels like the air coming into my lungs just isn't...enough.
Does anyone else experience this? For me, it goes most of the day, especially when I'm trying to relax, like sitting at my desk or watching TV. My T suggested it's like...safety itself is a trigger. Relaxing is too dangerous, and so my body responds with heightened energy.
It's exhausting to be struggling all day trying to get air deep enough into my lungs to feel like I've actually breathed. Sometimes the act of taking a breath is actually repulsive...a strain on my already tight and exhausted shoulders and back and neck. My throat gets tighter, and I have a hard time getting air through without gagging.
Relaxation techniques make it worse, focusing on breathing makes it worse, even my usual "grounding" techniques make me feel more charged and overwhelmed. It's almost like being a live electrical wire hanging near the ground, and providing a link to the ground would only create disaster. It's safer in that case to prevent grounding.