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Trouble Breathing...but Not Panic Attack?

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DogwoodTree

MyPTSD Pro
When I was 19 I started having trouble breathing. This was about the same time I reported my step-dad for abuse, right after I left for college. At first we thought it might be asthma, and had all kinds of tests done. My doctor wrote across my chart in big letters "STRESS", and closed the investigation.

My psychiatrist dx'd panic attacks, even though I don't usually feel fear or anxiety when I have trouble breathing. I know I'm not dying...I just can't seem to get "enough" air in my lungs, even though I'm way over-oxygenated.

It feels kind of like...trying to breathe normal-pressure air when you're deep underwater. When scuba diving, you must breathe pressurized air to compensate for the increased pressure from the water around you. So it feels like the air coming into my lungs just isn't...enough.

Does anyone else experience this? For me, it goes most of the day, especially when I'm trying to relax, like sitting at my desk or watching TV. My T suggested it's like...safety itself is a trigger. Relaxing is too dangerous, and so my body responds with heightened energy.

It's exhausting to be struggling all day trying to get air deep enough into my lungs to feel like I've actually breathed. Sometimes the act of taking a breath is actually repulsive...a strain on my already tight and exhausted shoulders and back and neck. My throat gets tighter, and I have a hard time getting air through without gagging.

Relaxation techniques make it worse, focusing on breathing makes it worse, even my usual "grounding" techniques make me feel more charged and overwhelmed. It's almost like being a live electrical wire hanging near the ground, and providing a link to the ground would only create disaster. It's safer in that case to prevent grounding.
 
Relaxing and focusing on breathing are not safe options for me either. But I've worked at slowing down a bit, but coming at it sort of sideways, like through slower or more mindful exercise...helpful if I'm supposed to coordinate my movements with my breathing...I'm not putting all attention on breathing, most on the movement. So the split attention helps. Also, plain old distraction when my breathing feels weird...I have to stop noticing my breathing and doing something that grabs my attention, trusting I'll be breathing just fine.

Grounding has also been a long slow process of really just slowing down a bit. It's really helpful to know that others here relate to this stuff (my therapist has explained it much the same way too..."relaxed" isn't safe and my body fights it). But grounding is still important. Going for a walk is often very helpful for me. Being still, focusing on my breathing...not so much.
 
Does anyone else experience this?
Yes. A thousand times yes. I read your post nodding the whole way through. This is so very hard and I am sorry about what you are experiencing. It's hard to describe what it feels like and you do so very well. It makes just living a whole lot harder when you are fighting to breathe.

I relate to this:
It feels kind of like...trying to breathe normal-pressure air when you're deep underwater.
and this:
So it feels like the air coming into my lungs just isn't...enough.
and this:
It's exhausting to be struggling all day trying to get air deep enough into my lungs to feel like I've actually breathed.
and this:
My throat gets tighter, and I have a hard time getting air through without gagging.
and this:
Relaxation techniques make it worse, focusing on breathing makes it worse, even my usual "grounding" techniques make me feel more charged and overwhelmed.
Actually, pretty much all of it.

I don't know how old you are; you say you've had this problem since you were 19. Is it all the time or are there times you are free of it?

For me it started around puberty and was worse when my dad was around. For most of the intervening time it's been all right save for a few times it's gotten bad. Then over the past few months it's been intense as I've been working with body memories. Working on it energetically seems to be helping, but I'd be hesitant to give you advice on this from a distance as everyone's experience is different. I wonder if it would be possible for you to work with a therapist who understands how the body holds and releases trauma and can help you with this at a safe pace. Breathing freely makes life so much easier!
 
I sometimes have panic attacks so I know how they feel. I also have asthma so I know how that feels. The others times I have had trouble breathing that did not match either was when I was deeply grieving. I used to wonder if grief could kill because it felt like it was so hard to get air and I was so lost in sadness I didn't even get anxious about it. It was just a passing thought that I was almost okay with. Are you feeling deep sadness or grief right now? As the grief lifted for me it became easier to breathe again.
 
I have asthma and panic attacks. My panic attacks can very much feel like my chest is very tight, like I just can't open it enough to get enough oxygen.

Fearing the feelings you are having can actually make them physiologically worse. Panic attacks, especially that feeling that there isn't enough oxygen, is your brain trying to get you to be ready to RUN from a threat.

A trauma T also told me once that it is common for many sufferers to feel more anxiety when they try to relax and/or when they feel safe.

He had three suggestions that may or may not be helpful for you:
1.) Hyperventilate on purpose. Seriously. Just for about 20 seconds, while lying down, breathe as fast as you can. It teaches your brain that the physical sensations themselves are not something to fear. It actually may actually even help the fear pass more quickly.
2.) Do something active. Burn off some energy. Give your body a physical release for the adrenaline other than just sending signals that you need more oxygen.
3.) Practice mindfulness. Panic attacks are the body fearing what happened in the past will happen now. So help your body focus on just being here in the present moment. That's a bog part of what mindfulness is about. www.dbtselfhelp.com has a lot of good resources on mindfulness. I really like doing something were I am mindfully focused on something other than my body. LIke I cook something, and really notice every sight smell and sound about cooking. Or I go play a sport and I really engage all my senses in the sport. You get the idea. Do something that requires your body to engage, not just your mind, in something that requires a lot of focus in the here and now.

Another thing that might help you to know, to really know, if the sensations are panic or that you are not getting enough air is to get a very cheep piece of equipment called a peak flow meter. Just google it on amazon. This will measure just how much air you can get into your lungs and if the sensation is panic telling your brain that it needs more oxygen when it doesn't actually need it, or if your lungs are constricting. This might give you some peace of mind, and help the panic itself, if it is panic. I have used one myself quite a bit and it helped me know when I was feeling panic and when it was something else.
 
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when I was deeply grieving. I used to wonder if grief could kill because it felt like it was so hard to get air and I was so lost in sadness

I definitely notice this connection (the lungs and sadness are also connection in Chinese medicine). Recently the breathing difficulties and sad feelings were so stuck together that I couldn't really tell if I was extremely sad, or sick. It was like one in the same. I was sad, but my inhaler did help. I think there is mutual influence for me in this area.

I have asthma and have had panic attacks, too (as well as muscle spasms that squish my breathing)...and body memories and sadness. Takes a while to sort out. But focusing specifically on my breathing never seems helpful.
 
I have had this problem for years. I was told I hyperventilate, but not to the degree that I have a panic attack. Just like a subtle percolation and then I realize that I can't breathe to fill my lungs. It's sometimes accompanied by a feeling of being strangled, which has happened to me, and I get very nervous. I haven't looked up what hyperventilation is or does, but I can overcome it by taking really slow, deep, deep breaths, hold it in til I can't stand it, then release it slowly. I do this four to ten times, then I feel back to normal.
 
I don't know how old you are; you say you've had this problem since you were 19. Is it all the time or are there times you are free of it?

I'm in my early 40's now, so it's been over 2 decades and there have been no significant lengths of time when I didn't struggle with it on some level.

Are you feeling deep sadness or grief right now? As the grief lifted for me it became easier to breathe again.

I am now, and have been for the past couple of years, but not during the entire 2 decades since this started.

Actually, I did really well from the late 90's to a few years ago with managing my emotions and keeping all the ptsd junk at bay...except for this breathing issue and the regular flashbacks during times of intimacy with my DH. It seemed like I had put everything else behind me. In fact, it was these two symptoms and some relational issues with some family members that triggered the depression and some kind of mental breakdown and a new round of counseling/therapy a couple of years ago.

This will measure just how much air you can get into your lungs and if the sensation is panic telling your brain that it needs more oxygen when it doesn't actually need it, or if your lungs are constricting. This might give you some peace of mind, and help the panic itself, if it is panic.

But I don't actually feel panicked--this has been going on nearly every day for over two decades, so I'm well aware cognitively that I will survive it, and not really afraid during it at all. Just...I can't relax in feeling like I'm getting enough air. Sometimes I'm actually so over-oxygenated that my hands and feet start to tingle, and occasionally my hands will start to tighten into a strange-looking fist because I have soooo much oxygen in my blood from all the deep breathing. So I know that physically I'm getting enough air. It just doesn't feel like it, almost like what I would imagine it would feel like to get an MRI. You know you're getting enough air--they wouldn't cut off your air. But it feels like you're trapped in a tiny space with no air to breathe.
 
Is it a matter of not being able to fully expand your lungs? I mean I know how it feels to take in a full, deep breath, and when I can't do that I get anxious.
 
Is it a matter of not being able to fully expand your lungs?

No, everything checked out physically. If it was a matter of not being able to fully expand my lungs, it would be constant, wouldn't it? But there are times during the day when I'm fine.
 
If it was a matter of not being able to fully expand my lungs, it would be constant, wouldn't it?
If it was asthma, for example, not always. Asthma can cause periods of restriction. Asthma attacks are something that comes and goes. Some people have decreased lung function all the time with periods of worsening, and others have normal lung function until an asthma attack hits. I have normal lung function results most of the time, except during asthma attacks.

Did you have the sensation of not being able to get enough air when you had the tests for asthma done?

It does sound like anxiety. It could also be a conversion or somtaform disorder. It could also be some other kind of medical problem. None of us here can diagnose. If you are thinking it's not anxiety or panic related, then you could go get another work up, talk to your doc. Especially since it sounds like the last time you were checked out medically. But if you have had a work up and your docs all say it's anxiety, that would make a lot of sense.

There are times where I feel and have panic or anxiety where I have all the physical sensations of anxiety but never the thoughts or the cognitive fear, just the physical fear. I will actually have coughing fits at times related to a body memory and anxiety. I have no cognitive experience of fear at the times I experience this. It will really feel like I am chocking. But I'm not.

It could also be a body memory that keeps coming up. Especially because it started at a time of great stress and trauma. Seeing a somatic therapist might be a good way to work through it.
The book "The Body Bears the Burden" might be a good source of information about how the body can have symptoms like this that are disconnected from any emotional experience but still be trauma and anxiety related.
 
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