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Trouble With Police As Triggers

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sedna

MyPTSD Pro
I had no idea where to post this thread. Maybe it belongs somewhere else. I'm also not a fan of the trigger idea but I didnt know how else to say it.

I have to deal with police dept and probation officers on occasion because of work that I do. I have an extremely difficult time dealing with some of these people and the stupid rules and red tape involved in keeping the bad ones in check. Everyone always knows who they are, and until or unless they do something terrible and get caught, they run amok.

I dont know why I react the way I do, I havent had a personal experience that was worse than the average person with bad cops. I was in a boot camp for bad kids as teenager for a while, but I dont think thats the problem, I just dont know.

I'm extremely reactive and will start power trips with them immediately. I think its the weapons, Im not sure.

Other people in positions that are similar dont get to me like that. Im hoping someone here can give me some insight. This kept me up all night last night.
 
Hi, can you clarify? Do probation officers where you live carry guns? I don't believe the ones where I live carry guns.
 
Hi, can you clarify? Do probation officers where you live carry guns? I don't believe the ones wh...

The police have the guns. The probation officers have stun guns on their belts. There is a difference between probation and police obviously, but I'm reacting to the ones I know have some psych issues the same way.

Everyone knows normal and reasonable people in these positions, I'm specifically referring to the ones that spend all their time working out, are huge, and argumentative. The whole thing is a game and theyre looking for reasons to make the job exciting everyday.

A large part of my city area is high crime, high minority and illegal immigrant population, gang territory and there are maximum security prisons close by, which means parolees get out.

I get why some have the attitude, I just dont get why I react like that. I'd rather have a gang member stare me down than a cop. I just dont understand it.
 
I have an extremely difficult time dealing with some of these people and the stupid rules and red tape involved in keeping the bad ones in check. Everyone always knows who they are, and until or unless they do something terrible and get caught, they run amok.
When I read this, I think that it might be the power structure that's more frustrating than the particular group - is there any other group that you interact with (or have interacted with) that has the same kind of unilateral authority with embedded corruption, system failures, and little to no checks/balances?

And, edit to add:
Other people in positions that are similar dont get to me like that.
Oh - shoot. You answered this already. :bag:

Do you know if gender is a factor?
 
Didnt i read that you were in the UK with a very abusive husband? Could it be connected to that? Were there any contact to police back then? Maybe its reminding you of the authority figure that's miss using the position?

Im just guessing here.

Seeing a police car with lights on driving home after work at night is triggering a flashback, while driving, for me right now. Its never effected me before so i get that something happening now that has never before and how confusing it is.
 
Coco, you didn't by any chance swallow a small pill?
It would have been red:wideeyed:
and it comes with lots of nasty side-effects that just don't go away...

you've got company :lurking::cautious:
@

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Their problems are inherent in the institution and the entitlements that they expect to have (I can argue that one, logically and irrefutably from first principles and illustrate it with empirical examples - it just takes a lot of time to write it all out - and those who don't follow the logic tend to rabidly reject where it goes to). It's not a problem of "a few bad apples", it's the whole incentive structure.

unfortunately the good people who go in either get hurt (famously; Serpico - and plenty more who end up as members here), or get corrupted.
 
When I read this, I think that it might be the power structure that's more frustrating than the part...

Didnt i read that you were in the UK with a very abusive husband? Could it be connected to t...

Yes I've been in very physically abusive situations, and also had situations that I felt trapped in. Some I was actually trapped in, like the boot camp as a kid.

The thing that confuses me, is that I have both in personal situations and on behalf of others had to stand off with intimidating people. Often where I have little real power, but everything rests on my own 'Bravado.' I can juggle the emotions okay and it doesnt go too deep.

This is different, I dont know how to say it right here, I dont want to offend anyone, especially any cops that may be on here.

I see almost like feral lunacy in these people, It's like knowing that there are live mines on the beach and you cant stop people from spending the weekends there.

I have seen that in female cops,not as often, it doesnt bother me the same way. In fact I have a tendency dominate them and make it look like I'm joking.

Thats why I wonder if its personal, I just cant quite put my finger on why.
 
Coco, you didn't by any chance swallow a small pill?
It would have been red:wideeyed:
and it comes with...

@Anarchy, I know its a little different now thanks to whoever you're scapegoat of choice is ( Nigel, Barry, Angela, we have so many choices! ) but in general the English police have never been much of a physical presence like the Terminator style War Zone stuff we see here. They dont run the right tests before letting people in.

Just two years ago there was an advertisement that the police were hiring, in a notoriously bad neighborhood. This is a predominately Spanish speaking neighborhood. The local news went and interviewed the people standing in line to fill out applications. For 20 openings, 100 people showed up, most couldnt even speak Spanish. College students and the kind of aimless young men that spend all day training in mixed martial arts, because they still live at their mom's.

It is different here, I totally see what you're saying about the infrastructure and how its designed. But it's like you're pointing out the Illuminati, while Im saying I want to kick the Vatican's security guys ass.
 
The whole thing is a game and theyre looking for reasons to make the job exciting everyday.
This statement really stuck out for me. Seems like mind-reading..? Can you expand on the feelings that underpin this line?

I'm picking up on overt demonstrations of power being an issue - not necessarily earned power, or responsible power. Dominance in a very obvious manner.

They've got the guns and the tasers and the butch ego and steroid-pumped arms. There's a not-too-subtle threat in that image I think, and an implied powerlessness on your behalf. Like, an assumption that you can't stand up to them..?
 
I'm picking up on overt demonstrations of power being an issue - not necessarily earned power, or responsible power. Dominance in a very obvious manner.

Me too! I cant pinpoint it either but something about dominance that ive been getting since I read this. Thats why i thought it was maybe the ex.
 
@Ragdoll Circus

I think maybe thats it. You're right , I cant believe I didnt put that together. I see a lot of abuse of power, obviously I grew up with it, married it and then got myself into careers that revolve around negotiating with it.

Thats obviously an issue, but what threw me off was the totally out of control need to be aggressive with these people.

They arent motivated by an infrastructure game like @Anarchy pointed out, but he is correct about that being the system. The motivation of these people is dominance and impunity within the law that hands them the weapons and the excuses.

I know a lot of people have intense emotion about this abuse of power in the US right now. But I knew that wasnt where I was coming from, it was personal.
I have all boys that are young men, I see cops like that and I want to attack them first. We arent a racial minority, its the same instinct that made me protect them from their dad. By the time I had the courage to leave him, I was willing to kill him if I had to.

Thank you.
 
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