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Trust Problems And Paranoia

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Anna

Does anyone else experience even with their loved ones, trust problems and paranoia?

I have managed to realise that it is just paranoia and am able to control it, but I find it very hard to trust people. I also notice when I get close to people they tend to let me down when I need them. So I withdraw from them and they mention that I am avoiding them. I prefer to keep a distance from people when I am feeling depressed. It sometimes really gets me down though and I find it hard to see any good in the world.
 
I tend to do the same too. I can stay in my house for days not seeing or talking to anyone. I tend to keep my guards up so high. My lack of trust can be unreal.
 
I still get it very badly, it affects my relationship with my fiance as well more than anything. I'm convinced despite her accepting my proposal that shes going to run off with another guy if given the chance. I trust her more than I've been able to trust other people but im still extremely fearful of her leaving me because obviously with PTSD its not exactly an easy relationship so I guess Im worried another guy could give her more than me. When I get scared I tend to shut her out to prevent myself getting hurt further than I already have been in the past. Its uncontrollable, i cant help but shut people out now. Not only that it affects my views on other people, it convinces me they'e fed up with or annoyed with me so I feel the need to check constantly, which really doesn't help matters lol.
 
My goodness yes. I have a close friend who wants to enter into a relationship with me, but I could only handle the anxiety of dating him for one day before I said wait I can't do this. He knows I'm getting ready to start some therapy. I've found it easier to withdraw than feel the sting of disappointment over and over and over. It's even easier to just be super independent so I don't get into situations of needing to rely on others. But I know there's less quality to my interpersonal life to choose this way... it's what feels SAFE. I manage to interact with other people in social situations but as far as emotional intimacy... yipes.
 
I have a hard time trusting anyone or getting close and push those close to me away or sabotage the relationship in some way without realizing it.
Even when i trust someone very much i always have something in the back of my head telling me that they have already or are going to do something that will effect me negatively in some way.
 
I have a problem with this. I am VERY watchful around the people who would and did PHYSICALLY harm me, and who show no signs of changing (and I dont expect them to) and I get called paranoid and having trust issues. Hello?

They are like they are and its not only me. And when some A-hole who IS trying to screw me over (and its proven) gets pinged and exposed, them trying to say its my trust issues? They have shown over and over they CANT be trusted and yet its my fault for not trusting them any more? Hello?

What is this? STOOPID training? Someone who cant be trusted, should be trusted. Very unralistic expectations IMO.

Whats next? Teaching kids to THEY should change and TRUST their rapist? No **** way.
 
Strangers, I absolutely don't trust... I panick in crowds because my mind thinks that they have some real bad intentions, even though I can't imagine what those intentions possibly might be. But even people I know, and even when I know with logica that they don't mean any harm, I still think they are planning some kind of mischief when I'm not looking.

This kind of suspicious behaviour on my behalf has already finished a relationship I had with a very sweet guy, some years ago. It's a paradox, because when I finally meet someone like him, that really supports me and really has good intentions, I still manage to push him away from me because deep inside I just can't trust anyone that close....
 
I do find it difficult to trust others, even family members.

I demand a lot from people and therefore they let me down a lot ....this is in direct relationship to my expectations, so it is partially my own fault, but people have proven to be less than trustworthy over the years.

Still, there are people whom I can trust and I have to be careful not to color everyone with the same paintbrush!

What has helped me is to trust in my own instinct/intuition
 
Lionheart I totally identify with your post, I am exactly the same. If I get a gut instinct about somebody I am usually right.
My sister says I place too higher expectations on people, but I just believe that being treated with respect should be a given.
 
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