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Trust Related To PTSD

Discussion in 'General' started by Marlene, May 3, 2007.

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  1. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    I’ve been mulling this over for a while now. This is less about the fact that people with PTSD usually have a lot of trust issues and more about that I’m wondering if, at least part of the cause of PTSD is a betrayal of a trust on some level.

    What brought this to my mind was thinking about some of the betrayals of trust in my life and the thought took legs and walked.
    • If someone has been abused as a child, the trust that parents/family are supposed to care for and protect you is betrayed.
    • If someone has been raped, the trust that they are safe in their homes/cities/societies is betrayed.
    • If someone has been molested, the trust that was placed with the molester is betrayed.
    • If someone has an MVA, the trust that by doing the same thing over and over again on a daily basis and the trust inferred in the safety of this is betrayed.
    • Even soldiers who’ve been in combat can have the betrayed trust towards their government, a political system, mankind in general. Or the fact that soldiers are prepared for combat-not for dealing with the aftermath.
    If, by having a betrayal of some trust be part of trauma(s), it’s really no wonder that trust is such an issue for us PTSDers. Somewhere along the lines of ‘once bit, twice shy…why should I stick my neck out once again?’.

    I tend to look at things differently than most. I look at all angles and try to turn things inside out in an effort to understand them. These might be ramblings and I might be full of it. But this is food for thought for me.

    Any other thoughts?

    Lisa
     
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  3. ryair

    ryair Active Member

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    Hi!
    I personally believe you are on to something here!! My partner Tonka joined the Military at 16yrs, the same time as a major betrayal in his family was exposed. He served as a Peace Keeper and apon his return his new wife announced she was leaving him for another man. Upon finally getting up the courage after a 6 year relationship with a single mother to marry her, she became pregnant with his child, and left him after only 3yrs. This time he had lost not just a person, but an entire family.
    Along came me! The second ex didnt want him, but didnt want anyone else to have him either. The past few years have been full of her using to her advantage his love of their children (he took on her 3 as his own) and his PTSD symptoms to have him bend to her will.She also provokes him to fight, which results in him shutting down.
    Tonka has always been very clear that he never "loved" her and that she just grew on him.He obviously didnt trust her.It cant have been a very pleasant situation for her. It was the children he wanted. Children dont betray you see!! And they are not like adults, they do not look at him and see he is ''broken''.
    Trust is a big issue with Tonka and myself. He has never believed I would stay by his side, so he deliberately sets up situations to prove that fact. He would tell me to go until I did. I had proven him right. He would then hunt me down and we would start all over again.
    He has never been able to talk with anyone but me.(he has shut himself off from everyone) He has learnt that I do not judge him, so it makes it easier for him to talk. And he has also leant that I now recognize what he is doing, pull him upon it, and we are able to get back on track.
    It is very hard on us both. But at least he now see's what he does.
    So in short ( After getting off the track a bit!!) YES!! I believe TRUST IS A MAJOR ISSUE.
    Just my thoughts!
    XXXXX
     
  4. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    yes you are one hundred % thank you for that tid bit. I never have thought about it like that, but it makes perfict sence to me.
     
  5. Grama-Herc

    Grama-Herc I'm a VIP

    Why is it that we are so good at relating to each others crap and getting to the point so well. We all could quit therapy and have one big weekly live chat and do perfectly well. Your ideas on trust can be related greatly to my inability to make and/or keep friends. IF I am lucky enough to make a friend, I promptly try to alieanate you to see if you leave, and if you know nothing of my issues you think I'm a bitch and you leave. It amazes me on a daily basis how very much this forum is helping me adjjust to and handle the issues I have had for a very long time. The true magic in this is not a cure but an answer to all those nagging questions and troubles we could never hang a name on. Just knowing WHAT it is takes a huge weight off. How did you get so smart Miss Marlene?
     
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