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Trying to Deal With PTSD - Robbed at Gunpoint

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by wishingwell, Oct 29, 2007.

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  1. wishingwell

    wishingwell New Member

    Hi all. I'm a 22 year old female and suffer from PTSD. Last year right before Christmas, I was robbed at gunpoint while on my way to the hospital where I was performing my clinical rotation. The second I saw the gun to my face I prepared myself to die...I really thought he was going to kill me. He took everything, gift cards I was going to use to buy people Christmas gifts, checks that I was going to cash after my clinical day was over... so not only was I dealing with what happened, but I was financially set back and that caused a lot of worry as well.

    I am afraid to go out alone and sometimes just the thought of doing so will set me into a panic attack. On good days when I can go someplace by myself, I look over my shoulder every five damn seconds. I hate being home alone, I literally hide when someone knocks at the door and jump a mile high when something like the ice machine makes a noise. I recently started having nightmares about it and it's dragging up the feelings I felt when the event happened. I can't stand seeing the asshole in my dreams.

    I graduated about 6 months ago and have been putting off finding a job because I'm just so scared to go out so early in the morning when it's still dark out, to a place I'm unfamiliar with. People in my life that I let in and open up to just don't seem to understand. They make me feel like I'm acting like such a baby for being so affected by another person's actions. They think telling me to "buck up, push forward, don't let him run your life" etcetc is helpful advice but words like that mean nothing to me...it's like telling someone with depression to just not be so sad.

    Anyways, it felt good to just get that all out. I'm really at a dead end here, I feel like I just can't live like this anymore.. and I'm glad I found this place because I really need somewhere to go where people actually understand. Thanks so much for reading.
     
  2. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum Wishing.

    You found a good place. There is a ton of info here and lot's of understanding. Jump in when you feel ready!

    bec
     
  3. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

    Wishingwell,
    :hello: Hello, and Welcome Aboard!


    Hope
     
  4. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Hi Wishing and welcome :)
     
  5. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum.

    Lisa
     
  6. logan

    logan Guest

    Welcome to a good board
    i'm newbie be too
     
  7. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member

    :hello: Welcome Wishingwell
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Here! There! Nowhere! Staff Member Premium Member

    Hi wishingwell, welcome to the forum....
     
  9. jmez017

    jmez017 New Member

    welcome to the forum...I know exactly how you feel. I was held up at gunpoint last year outside of my apartment building after I came home from going grocery shopping. I now can't sleep at my place, go out at night or even take a shower when I am alone
     
  10. Antahkarana

    Antahkarana New Member

    After I was raped at age 17 by a stranger and left for dead behind a dumpster I felt the same way. I was so scared to do anything. I couldn't even answer the door, when the phone rang I jumped, and I still have the blanket that i would wrap myself up in when I would leave the house with my friend to go to the doctors. It does get better. It has been many years now. My advice is to please seek help now and get into some group therapy to learn some coping skills. Because if you stuff it inside you might end up with my problem and that is having all this stuff come back years later. You have to deal with it with a professional and get help. It really helps!
     
  11. vic1013

    vic1013 New Member

    this is my first post. I have been searching for people that have similar situation to what i have experienced. I am 22 years old now, but at 17 I fell victim to PTSD. So it's going on six years and it's still troublesome. lately it's been worse. I don't live in the friendliest of places so I feel it's society holding me back from recovery. I worked at a local bowling alley in a shopping plaza. It was december 28 of 2003. We were supposed to close at ten..but had a really busy night so we were waiting for the last customer to leave. As my step brother was coming inside to get me, a man completly covered walked in behind him with two guns in his hands and yelled to get down. I din't know what was happening so i chuckled...it was my now boyfriend mike(he is the mechanic, also there too) that told me to get down. I got into fetal position and he came over and pistol whipped me. i was in horror at what was happening. Like you said I prepared myself to die. That right there is enough to choke up inside and cry...... to fathom that thought is what is killing me. another man comes in and man-handled the rest of the crew including my step brother. One guy told me to get up and walk towards the room. he tied my feet and gagged my mouth. I didn't start to actually cry till i looked up and seen the supervisor being dragged to me. They took the money and left. the crooks were never caught. Today i deal with these issues and some days it's hard to get by...I come here to get advice to talk to people just like me. I have yet to meet someone that has PTSD. Just like you everyone around me tells me to get over it, it's not your fault. My own mother laughs at me, and grunts when she talks about something and i get a flashback...i have anger problems, resentment. If you see me you won't think that i ever been through anything of that sort. thats because I try my hardest to suck it up. I live in a city full of violence and every other day there is an armed robbery. every other week a homicide. I need to find a way to deal with my anxiety. going out at night. I was even almost evicted from the development where i live because i own a dog whom they don't consider " a good dog"...I went to a therapist and got a letter. My dog has been my scapegoat...but I can't rely on him anymore....just like you i want answers....maybe we can communicate our fears a lil better and try to find a solution...
     
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