Hello,
I've suffered from PTSD since I was in the military for 10years. My most recent discovery was disassociation. I never had a name for it, although I was vaguely aware of it ( being mad at the 1st guy who, took advantage but not knowing why) stuff like that. As soon as I realized this I started seeing a psychotherapist. (since june 23rd) I've started trying to journal to recall....to be honest It terrifies me how often I "float" looking back I floated for 5months after the first one...but I'm in and out every day....i had to use my phone to recall so I could write in my journal....im trying to ground, journal, therapy, thinking and doing positive, changing my destructive behavior (was drinking and smoking but I noticed it fueled the floating) Maybe I'm just starting out but I'm so scared, is the floating permanent? My mom had other personalities, she had multiple rapes too, but I don't. It's just, a lot. Is there anyone who can share their experience? For a long time I believed I was broken beyond repair, asked myself and my dad if I was crazy...people look at me like I crazy when I float or dont fit right...like if a conversation gets too much...floating writing this, so anxious. Just reaching out for help, information, shared experiences, and techniques that worked for others. Am I going to be like this forever? Constantly managing, I will of I must, but the thought that someday if I work hard, ill be able to be here and whole again...i remember a time when I wasnt...so lost. Thank you whoever reads this and takes the time. Much love on your journey, Aloha
I've suffered from PTSD since I was in the military for 10years. My most recent discovery was disassociation. I never had a name for it, although I was vaguely aware of it ( being mad at the 1st guy who, took advantage but not knowing why) stuff like that. As soon as I realized this I started seeing a psychotherapist. (since june 23rd) I've started trying to journal to recall....to be honest It terrifies me how often I "float" looking back I floated for 5months after the first one...but I'm in and out every day....i had to use my phone to recall so I could write in my journal....im trying to ground, journal, therapy, thinking and doing positive, changing my destructive behavior (was drinking and smoking but I noticed it fueled the floating) Maybe I'm just starting out but I'm so scared, is the floating permanent? My mom had other personalities, she had multiple rapes too, but I don't. It's just, a lot. Is there anyone who can share their experience? For a long time I believed I was broken beyond repair, asked myself and my dad if I was crazy...people look at me like I crazy when I float or dont fit right...like if a conversation gets too much...floating writing this, so anxious. Just reaching out for help, information, shared experiences, and techniques that worked for others. Am I going to be like this forever? Constantly managing, I will of I must, but the thought that someday if I work hard, ill be able to be here and whole again...i remember a time when I wasnt...so lost. Thank you whoever reads this and takes the time. Much love on your journey, Aloha
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