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Relationship Trying To Understand Isolation.

  • Thread starter Lost my love to ptsd
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Lost my love to ptsd

Hi I hope I am in the right place. My boyfriend of 2 year's just packed up and moved out with no warning. We had a great relationship and he is the love of my life. We even talked about getting married. A few month's ago his son ran away from home and we were also in the midst of trying to move so our stress level was high. He began emotionally pulling away from me. Due to the stress of everything we did have normal arguments but nothing we never quickly made up from. His son did come home and we did find a new place. Things seemed to go back to normal except he still seemed distant. He finally told me he has bwen dealing with some ptsd...he was a fireman emt first responder and lost a few people. One hit him super hard...one of his best friends went into work a fire with him and didnt make it out. He was the crew cheif so he blames himself. He says he doesnt want to lean on anyone, that this is his burden to deal with and he doesnt want anyone to see him implode...He been going to a psychiatrist and has been told he has guilt and anger issues....he has told me he loves me but he isnt all there. He initially said he wanted to work his way back to me. Now he has blocked me from his life so to speak...we have talked twice in person, but most communication has been texting which i usually initiated. He told me yesterday he still loved me but when i asked,him to stop and see me he suddenly changed and said he had nothing to say it was nothing i did but he couldnt be with me. He tells me he isnt ready to see me. Asked why he could see his friends and seem ok but difficult to see me...said he puts on a good,show for me!!!
Sorry ao long i,guess i just,dont know if i should wait for him and show him i won't leave?
 
Welcome to the forum, I hope you can find support and understanding on here,

It sounds like him blocking you out of his life is a result of the emotional numbness which is a common symptom of PTSD. He has said that he does still love you and that he needs time, so maybe he just needs some space and some time to heal. I have not experienced what your boyfriend has gone through so I can not tell you if that is the right approach, just giving a suggestion.

I am emotionally numb toward my own family and do not have the answer as to how to reverse this because I do not know how to reverse it myself. It feels like my friends understand me so I am less numb towards them. However my therapist has said she has seen great recovery through the right therapy and support.

He is seeking professional help so that is good, have you talked to him about support groups? EMDR? It might help for a support group for your boyfriend to know that he is not alone. Art therapy may also be helpful for the anger issues to free his mind through the form of art. Also, if he is taking any SSRI's from the psychiatrist he is seeing, a common side effect of any SSRI is decreased libido so an SSRI might make his numbness worse.

It sounds like he was put through a lot of stress from being a firefighter and the stress of his son running away from home was the tipping point. Our minds can only take so much stress to where eventually we do not know how to process it anymore. Or at least that is how I feel with my experiences. A good analogy of this can be found here: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/

I hope your boyfriend heals from his experiences.
 
Sorry for responding so late. I just seen your post. My husband is also a firefighter. I would give him some space, let him work some of his stuff out. Here to support you, you can always pm if you like. Just know your not alone:hug:
 
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