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Understanding Ptsd - By Anthony Parsons

Discussion in 'Discussion' started by anthony, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    The idea of this document is to help those surrounding PTSD; it’s based on theory I have learned and the experience I gained whilst walking my path to recovery.

    Download the attached PDF document for a no nonsense outline of what you are dealing with as a sufferer and carer.

    Fully Revised as at: 18 Nov 2011

    Attached Files:

  2. philostam

    philostam New Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Are there on the internet articles about the PTSD-imbalance issue? I found out about stuttering (and dyslexia and other problems of control) too, that the hemispheric dominance problem causes it. But the hemispheric dominance problem is caused by ME, not my brain, or the trauma, these wrong tracks are based on the philosophically shallow conception of "stress". Anyway, I will post my theory about it as soon as I studied the details.
  3. kiljoy

    kiljoy New Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Wow. Very enlightening. This helps me understand much better. Thanks!
  4. J.B.

    J.B. VIP Member Premium Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]You said "I have healed my military trauma and I have learnt how to manage PTSD." So a person actually can heal their traumas and manage this disorder. I'm curious though, what is your quality of life now compared to pre-trauma?
    AzureMind likes this.
  5. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Princess ♡ Staff Member Premium Member

    May I step in before Anthony replies and comment on my observations over the past 3.5 years with him.

    • I have seen him go from internalizing his illness to being able to tell me he is unwell. This made a huge difference in a relationship.
    • I have seem him go from spending a week in bed in a sweat and dazed stage to just sitting on the couch for the day or the very odd day of spending the day in bed.
    • He has learned that while his desire is to help people (this forum), he has to manage how much he involves himself with that and the amount of time he spends doing it otherwise it pulls him down. His realization of this was fundamental IMHO.
    • I am proud of how he now sometimes explains his 'PTSD actions' to me so I can comprehend him better and not add to his stress.
    • He seems to have a great skill of processing the past and being able to move past it rather than get caught up in it and let it eat at him. I think that is a great management skill for having PTSD.
    I know this hasn't answered your question Jadebear but I thought you might appreciate a Carer's view.
    brat17, sunnysideup, Ayesha and 11 others like this.
  6. J.B.

    J.B. VIP Member Premium Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Yes, Nicolette, I do appreciate a carer's view. It sounds like he's come a long way in the short time you've been with him.

    So, you didn't know him before PTSD then?.... I guess my main question is what percentage of "him" is still intact, does a person ever become whole again?....
  7. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Who I used to be, I can never fully be again, as my experience then compared to now is vastly different. I was an easy going person, I am still an easy going person, even during the worst of PTSD I was easy going at times and with certain people, others not so. I had years where I was extremely destructive... single, drunk, fighting, a different woman often... extremely destructive, yet acceptable to the Army, but not acceptable for civilian life.

    Then vs. now... well, I am now an even stronger person mentally due to the past that I chose to learn from. We all have a past, but what we use from it is unique and individual. What we learn as well, whether we learn or whether we remain on the same path, also individual.

    There just is no such thing as trying to be your old self... it doesn't exist because we all change constantly along the way. Our future and present soon enough becomes our past, and all this time consistently defines who we are today. Who we are today is not who we will be tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day... so looking for someone you used to be is extremely counter productive.

    If you define a negative in your life, then your work is to change and define that negative into what you want it to be in your future, today even... some people are happy with some negatives, as we all have those as well. The scale and measure is what affects you negatively vs. what doesn't. If something has a constant and deliberate negative impact upon you, then you either change it to a positive or you continue the way you are... but you cannot be who you used to be. Aim for new or improved, not past.
  8. faerie0101

    faerie0101 New Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Anthony,

    Thank you SO much for this incredibly helpful article. I sat with my partner last night and went through this. I think it was the first time he really understood what is going on with me. It also made it so much easier for me to acknowledge what I put him through. I think most of the time I am afraid to validate his complaints for fear of his leaving. We bonded in a way that we never had before while discussing this. I woke up this morning feeling calmer than I have in a very long time. If I can maintain this level, I think I might even be able to get back into therapy.

    I just wanted to be sure to tell you how much I appreciate this and everything you are doing to help people.
  9. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    [QUOTE=;][/QUOTE]Your welcome faerie, and glad to hear it helped you both. Positive outcomes are the best outcomes. Well done for helping yourself.
    CraftyCath and madmoo like this.
  10. J.C.

    J.C. New Member

    On stammering and dyslexia, would like to share that I had both very bad when I was deep in the PTSD state. The stammering has stopped. The dyslexia has greatly minimized. It only shows when I type. Sometimes whole words are typed out of order, flip flopped. It's quite a strain to focus but I pull it off most of the time. For me it's more prevalent the week before my period (PMS week). For me all forms of motor skills and thoughts and well everything becomes more "clumsy" to keep it simple.

    Pre PTSD I never had a stammer or dyslexia. Nor did I endure the lack of coordination with thoughts and even fine motor skill functions during PMS week. Just sharing so if there is anyone out there with these challenges, it can get better.
  11. CreativJ

    CreativJ New Member

    This article helped me so much! I have to find a way to not get triggered by them and to back away and not react (I seem to be aggressive according to this document because we then go days without speaking to each other) when I feel it happening. I am seeing a lot of those same symptoms in me, so I know I need to go talk to someone and see what's going on with me so that I can better support my friend and myself . Will me and this friend be able to be around each other during these hard times for her which have now turned into bad times for me?
  12. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Who better to help you both really, than each other, in both learning stress management and communication skills together? Regardless who has PTSD, communication skills in any relationship are a two way street, both must give and take, and develop, as well as obide by, established rules to communicate to avoid yelling or arguing.

    When starting out... nothing like shifting to a notepad on the kitchen table, each writing and responding to any problems that way, so you can think about what you write in response vs. say it which can't be taken back. It is a good way to open the communication barriers when initially struggling. I say writing, because it puts more effort and thought than just email, and email can be instant and become just as ugly as voicing to one another. Writing on a piece of paper adds more time to the equation of response, which means better chance on thought.

    Even a rule, read response, say nothing, write nothing, then write response 5 or 10 minutes later after a chance to review both positive and negative options.
  13. CreativJ

    CreativJ New Member

    Thank you so much for this advice! I will do that. I think I can do one better. They is in a treatment center at this time, so maybe writing them a letter would be the best bet. I love to write and it eases my pain. You are absolutely correct when you say that an email can be just as bad and if I can calm myself and think things through, I know that I will handle things differently, yet in the moment, my defense mechanism is to protect myself by getting aggressive and letting the person know that they have hurt me and that it's not okay. I am finding that this is not the right thing to say, yet I had been at lost at what to do. I also have an issue with being ignored; it plays into my rejection and abandonment issues so I definitely have work to do with getting healed.

    This website has been such an inspiration to me that I actually called a therapist to ask for help, either to help me find someone that does pro bona work. I am willing to go to one on one therapy, group therapy and take medication to get my life back and to get back to my positive balanced self and help them get the support they need while they go through this process. I love them and our relationship too much, yet I know that I am spiraling down quickly and this has been going on for a year. I can't do this any more.

    Thanks so much for your wise words! They tremendously helped me and give me hope in getting through this with my best friend.
  14. ladyturtle5366

    ladyturtle5366 New Member

    Is there a way to get this in Word form? My computer is having issues with the pdf format. I'll get it figured out eventually, but I'd like to have the article sooner if possible. Thanks
  15. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Hi,

    No, it does not come in word format... PDF only.
  16. Old Dreamer

    Old Dreamer New Member

    I tried to down load the pdf file. It will not load due to a file error. Can you check this?
  17. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    I just clicked it and it loaded without issue.
  18. Old Dreamer

    Old Dreamer New Member

    Still having problems. I'l try it on my office computer. Download pdf files all the time with this one, but it may be my tired machine.
  19. gamereign555

    gamereign555 Rabid Wombat!

    Wow that was helpful, I think I'm going to refer to this as many times as I need to.
    ericaboo and anthony like this.
  20. kimba

    kimba Well-Known Member Premium Member

    I love how you broke it all down. It makes so much sense this way!
    gamereign555, Ruth09 and anthony like this.
  21. Angelina92

    Angelina92 New Member

    I just read this...very helpful...
  22. TeeterTa

    TeeterTa New Member

    In honor of National PTSD Awareness Day (Monday, June 27th) I shared your amazing gift with my friends and hope that someone makes use of it in honor of those who are affected and in honor of your generous sharing here.
    CraftyCath likes this.
  23. TeeterTa

    TeeterTa New Member

    Your doc worked a miracle in our life this weekend! Happy National PTSD Awareness Day! Thanks!
    Whitneys story likes this.
  24. Jason

    Jason New Member

    Thank you. I just discussed this article with my therapist today after a very hard weekend and it's given me hope that these long periods required to bring my stress levels down are normal, and not a sign that I'm going crazy. Your explanation really encapsulates how I feel.
  25. amethist

    amethist The Mystic Duck Staff Member Premium Member

    Instead of reading this to my husband as I have done before. I am going to print it off and hand it to him today, in large print if I have to. Then he can sit and read, inwardly digest for himself, instead of me having to explain stuff over and over again.

    Oh how I wish he would learn to use a PC.
    CraftyCath and Whitneys story like this.

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