Even a rule, read response, say nothing, write nothing, then write response 5 or 10 minutes later after a chance to review both positive and negative options.
Thank you so much for this advice! I will do that. I think I can do one better. They is in a treatment center at this time, so maybe writing them a letter would be the best bet. I love to write and it eases my pain. You are absolutely correct when you say that an email can be just as bad and if I can calm myself and think things through, I know that I will handle things differently, yet in the moment, my defense mechanism is to protect myself by getting aggressive and letting the person know that they have hurt me and that it's not okay. I am finding that this is not the right thing to say, yet I had been at lost at what to do. I also have an issue with being ignored; it plays into my rejection and abandonment issues so I definitely have work to do with getting healed.
This website has been such an inspiration to me that I actually called a therapist to ask for help, either to help me find someone that does pro bona work. I am willing to go to one on one therapy, group therapy and take medication to get my life back and to get back to my positive balanced self and help them get the support they need while they go through this process. I love them and our relationship too much, yet I know that I am spiraling down quickly and this has been going on for a year. I can't do this any more.
Thanks so much for your wise words! They tremendously helped me and give me hope in getting through this with my best friend.