One of the criteria for PTSD involves actual or preferred avoidance of circumstances resembling or associated with the stressor. I can really relate to it, and it constitutes a great problem for me, since one of my stressors is psychiatric care, from whom I need help.
But I've also realized that I use the memories of my trauma as a way of either coping or harming myself, when life is too overwhelming. It's like the thought of what really has happened, in combination with what could happen if I have to seek help again, is a mental wound I can't stop picking at. When I go to bed, my thoughts often wander to places where I've been totally exposed, and of course this affects my dreams and lead to night mares. I don't really understand how these things can exist at once: both the complete terror for everything associated with the trauma, and the inability to stop thinking about it.
Does anyone recognize this? Any thoughts?
But I've also realized that I use the memories of my trauma as a way of either coping or harming myself, when life is too overwhelming. It's like the thought of what really has happened, in combination with what could happen if I have to seek help again, is a mental wound I can't stop picking at. When I go to bed, my thoughts often wander to places where I've been totally exposed, and of course this affects my dreams and lead to night mares. I don't really understand how these things can exist at once: both the complete terror for everything associated with the trauma, and the inability to stop thinking about it.
Does anyone recognize this? Any thoughts?