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VCC's Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by vcc123, Feb 22, 2007.

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  1. vcc123

    vcc123 Active Member

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    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? sandy colored
    Q2. What texture is the road? gritty, dirt with little rocks
    Q3. How solid is the road? solid dirt, but sandy on top, like you can slip on the pebbles.

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? A fallen tree crosses the river
    Q5. What does the water look like? dark blue
    Q6. How fast is the water current? medium current
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? small rocks under the surface.

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? beige
    Q9. What condition is the house in? shabby
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? no one

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? white
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? good
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? empty but with a dark, dried ring.

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? a dog, mean, maybe a german shepherd.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? more road
     
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  3. vcc123

    vcc123 Active Member

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    my 'self analysis'

    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.

    Q1.. beige road.. feel sad.. I'm alone.. no one around me..

    Q2.. dirt,sandy,rocky road.. very quiet, I can hear my footsteps, scuffing little pebbles.

    Q3.. solid road.. loose sandy pebbles.. just walking

    Q4.. fallen tree over river.. big.. crossing without fear or difficulty.

    Q5.. dark blue water.. looks cold.. otherwise non threatening.

    Q6.. medium current.. no feeling

    Q7.. small rocks under surface.. no feeling

    Q8.. beige house.. blah..

    Q9.. shabby condition.. uncared for.. sad.

    Q10.. empty house.. looks out of place.. no neighbors nearby. lonely.

    Q11.. white.. teacup.. dainty, old fashioned, with saucer. pretty.

    Q12.. good condition.. sort of clean considering where it is.. except for the inside.

    Q13.. empty cup.. except for what looks like residue from coffee or tea.. dried up.

    Q14.. Dog.. big.. mean.. seems like a German Shepherd.. ears up.. very alert.. unmoving. afraid of the dog.

    Q15.. more road beyond the dog.. same road.. goes on forever..

    It feels like a normal day.. nice weather.. very quiet though.. not one other person around.. I feeling like I'm going somewhere, but dont know where. I feel like I'm younger than I really am, I'm a kid.

    After answering the information, I feel nauseated, anxiety, and like I want to cry.
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    You feel depreciated from life, unappreciated even, and whilst you like to think life is solid and easy, its actually quite difficult for you to navigate. You don't trust easily within sexual intimacy, and keep a secret surrounding a male sexual concern; impulsive though cautious when it comes to sexual intimacy and quite aware of problems. You are naive in relation to your support systems, as they have been / are poor, thus resulting in your low self esteem. You are in denial that healthy commitment exists within your relationships, a secret surrounds commitment, though you demonstrate no commitment towards anyone or anything.

    Your largest problem at present is from feeling attacked and hurt, thus you are pessimistic about things getting better for you in the near future.

    VCC, what can you tell me about this? What does, and does not relate to you?
     
  5. vcc123

    vcc123 Active Member

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    hmm..

    I guess I'll just respond to each item you mentioned in the feedback. I DO feel unappreciated in life, however I never felt like I needed/deserved appreciation. I did what I was supposed to do because it was my responsibility, not because I expected something in return.

    I have never thought that life was solid OR easy, quite the opposite. It has never felt like I've been the one navigating.. rather it has navigated me.

    I do not trust easily within sexual intimacy or otherwise, this I DO know (but I dont know why).

    I HAVE kept a secret regarding a male sexual concern. (I dont know if you meant this in a negative or positive way) When I was 17, I dated a guy for some months and we felt a special connection. He had a one night stand with another girl we knew, I was hurt & angry - and moved away.

    I forgave him rather quickly, but never got over him. Every relationship after that, I was not able to fully give my heart to that person because of him.

    My sister remained in the same town as him.. (his name is Noah) Over the last 20 years, he and I have kept track of each other through my sister. He's always told her how much he regretted what happened, and that I was 'the one that got away.' I have told her that I often think of him and always ask about him.

    A few months ago, something inside of me snapped. I looked Noah up on the internet and found his website. I sent him an email to say hi. I didn't expect a reply, much less the one I got. He wanted to speak on the phone, so we did. He told me how sorry he was that he'd hurt me, and that he'd always loved me and that I was the one he was supposed to be with.

    I was shocked, to say the least. I told him that I'd always felt the same way. We've spent the last 20 years trying to replace each other with someone else. One failed relationship after another, knowing that it was because we knew in our hearts that WE were supposed to be together.

    We are both currently married, and both unhappy. We try to make light of it by saying that the timing is 'off'.. but we want to be together. We feel like things have to be put 'right'.. that we are supposed to be with each other.

    I've never allowed myself to hope to be with him, because I thought he didnt want to be with me. Now in my heart, I believe that Noah is why I could never fully commit to anyone else. He has always had my heart.

    ok.. onto the next item.. impulsive but cautious with sexual intimacy. I believe is mainly due to wanting/needing physical & emotional connection, then realizing it is not the person with whom I'm meant to be with. (with lust & passion gone, my heart realizes that its not where I want to be)

    I do not feel like I'm naive in my support systems.. I just dont have very many, I KNOW this. I have family, but not very close to them.. other than my sister Veronica. (The kind of unconditional love/support thats needed) I can tell her anything.

    I'm not sure what the 'secret is that surrounds commitment'.. other than maybe Noah. It could be that my Dad was an asshole and left my Mother and us. I disagree that I 'demonstrate no commitment towards anyone or anything'. I have been commited as a mother.. I've tried to be commited as a wife.. (although reserving a piece of my heart because of another man does not allow full commitment) I was commited in my job of nearly 11 years, I love it, I was good at it.. THEY FIRED ME.

    I think I feel attacked by my former employer, and definitely hurt. I also feel defensive about the decisions I'm trying to make. Most people dont believe in getting a divorce because you're not happy, suffering from ptsd, feel like you're in the wrong life in general.. and want to fix it. I care about what people think, and I dont want to hurt anyone.

    I think that covers it all. Let me know what you think.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    I think its great you can relate what your subconscious is telling you. The "no commitment towards anyone or anything else" means you are not cheating, you are not a workaholic, means you are committed to your partner at the subconscious. Mental imagery can tell whether your cheating on your partner or dedicated to something else, ie. work.

    You have hit the problems on the head VCC... now only you can solve them. This just helped you identify exactly what the real problems are at your subconscious brain, that bother you at present.
     
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