i posted here a few weeks ago about my first full flashback, everyone was very helpful, thank you. Now, and for some reason I'm surprised, I have swung back into depression. I've been told I have treatment resistant depression so it's always there, it just gets worse at times. This is one of those times. Basically a walking commercial for an antidepressant...if I had the energy to get up to get dressed and walk. Still having some nightmares related to my attack and I have noticed since my flashback I have an intense fear of being triggered into one again. I find I am just waiting for the day to pass so I can sleep again, I look forward to nothing. My therapist is aware of how I feel. And that's the other thing. I've been in therapy for 5 years and I feel I just keep going in cycles and never exactly get better, not saying it's therapy's fault, I feel like me and my brain are defective or something. I guess I just needed to vent bc I'm tired of being depressed and I am tired of going through the cycles of intense anxiety or listless depression that inevitably leads to suicidal ideations and those get hard to ignore.