F
Filedu
My husband and I are trying to work things out after he had an emotional affair with a female friend. Long story short, they never physically did anything that I know of, but he said to her that he thought of her as his soulmate, and would always love her and be in love with her. While I give a little leeway for his ptsd, he's still responsible for his choices. He's never volunteered any information to me, I have found out a lot of things on my own and then pry the details out of him. And now he wants to rekindle his friendship with her claiming things will not go as they did before, and promises to follow any restrictions I request. They had a falling out when he and I separated because he got drunk and embarrassed himself in front of her mother. So now he wants to patch things up between them. All I think is that I can't commit fully to our marriage because I can't trust his intentions. I think he wants to keep his friendship as a plan B because I've told him I don't know if things will work out between us. I think he won't tell all about what happened between them because of his loyalty to her. Another reason they had a falling out was because I wrote a letter to her and exposed some things I found out about their relationship. She assumed he violated her privacy, so I really think this is why he never volunteers any information, he doesn't want to hurt his friend by exposing their secrets. So we are stuck in a rotten cycle. I can't commit to someone I can't trust because he is still loyal to her confidences, and he won't committ himself to the marriage because I can't promise that things will work out. Any ideas on how to break this stalemate?