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Vulnerability In Therapy

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Fraser46

I am receiving therapy to help to try and reduce my ptsd symptoms. I have had a few blocks of treatment and find it very difficult. I try to open up as much as possible but i am scared of losing control. I am scared of my emotions and I am so frightened of breaking down in a therapy session and not feeling in control.Frustrated as this seems to be holding me back from processing the traumas.
 
What is it that scares you about being out of control? If you follow your fear all the way to the end, ie what's the worst thing that you think could happen and maybe talk to your therapist about that - they'll be able to help you work through why it's an issue for you. In saying that, it's not uncommon to fear lack of control because so much about trauma is out of our control, so it's a natural feeling.

I'm a firm believer that when you're ready, you'll feel safer and more able to be vulnerable. Ultimately you're talking about opening up some of your biggest fears to someone you've known for a short period of time and see for an hour a week (mostly) so it's ok that it takes time. In the meantime, keep building a relationship with your therapist and they'll help you get there.
 
Yes I had enormous trouble with this. Eventually I only made progress when I got into therapy with a therapist that is a personal friend. Thats an ethical no no but because I did that I was able to learn how to effectively communicate with other therapists in the future about this issue.

The bottom line is that you leave the session with intense emotional and psychological awareness that you arent as conscious of everyday so you can function.

What they do is make some notes and move on to the next client. When they go digging around in your psyche, they are forgetting that you cant just go home and help kids with homework or make dinner after without putting your barriers back up.

This can be so hard to get through to a therapist. They will usually turn it around and say you're resisting, blocking, transferring, etc.

If they could be in your shoes and have your memories and emotions, have someone expose all of it in a 45 minute appt. then get told to go live normal life and come back for another 45 min of hell a week later, they'd be big babies about it. ( I know this for a fact, I'm socially involved with some therapists. 90% are big weenies about their feelings).

I made it clear that I knew I needed to address things that I was afraid would unleash things I could handle, and that I wanted to be in charge of the structure around it.
In my case,I wrote the worst things down and gave him the letter to read after the session, then I'd decide when I'd want to talk about it. But at least he knew some facts then. I also had appts.only at the end of the day, so I could go home and cry or sit in shock if I needed to.

I still get mad when I think about the pressure some T's put me under. I dont understand why common sense, not to mention training would have made them understand. After one intense session with a pushy psychiatrist I ended up in the ER later unable to breathe and on the verge of a heart attack.

I think you dont need to be afraid of your feelings so much as its important that your T respects the possible backlash of those emotional exposures so you can feel safe in opening up...that is crucial really, not just important.

Sorry for such a long comment reply but I'm really passionate about putting T's in their place when they need it now. If they're arent hearing your valid concerns, get a new one.
 
I go through the list of my reactions, and their possible triggers, & how to minimize them.

Not being in control doesn't have to mean a disaster of some sort. So preventative measures, if needed... usually calms down my anxiety about the whole losing control thing, too. I'm ready, time to let up a little instead of fixate on control as much as I'm doing.
 
Sounds like you've had some difficult experiences in therapy. The vast majority of therapists I know have had extensive therapy, so do know exactly what it's like to try and unpack their stuff and then go on and live normal lives. A good therapist will always work at the clients pace, and accept that with some forms of trauma that's likely to be a very slow process.

I'm more likely to see clients wishing they could go faster than therapists who just want clients to get on with it.
 
You have made a big brave step in getting help/therapy and it can be difficult at times.
Im on session 12 and am only really now opening up as it is difficult to talk about my trauma. I tend to dissociate when it gets too much. Ive never cried in T as i try to hold it in as im afraid that once it goes it will never stop.
It did help me to write down my trauma, feelings and fears etc and then share them with my T rather than me say it, i sometimes send my notes via email so she can see them before my seasion. This has really worked for me and it has allowed for productive T sessions.
Hope this is of use.
MC
 
Thanks , i have had some difficult therapy sessions. I am worried about feeling very frightened and not being able to calm down during therapy session. I hate feeling emotions and get embarrassed about sharing these - something I will have to get over. I also feel dissociating asv don't feel in control and know where I am. I am currently back on another round of EMDR, after a few weeks of CBT, I find the emdr very draining.
 
It really is hard to be vulnerable isn't it... I do my best to hide it every time.

My therapist knows me too well but respects my needs. If I think back to the beginning, he didn't begin to address or dig down until he had taught me a lot of coping tools. Made sure I practiced them well. Always asked about anxiety levels and what am I doing to lower them. I have to transition regularly from the real struggling me, to mother, to wife all the time. My T knows that and so has carefully equipped me to work through these things at a pace I can keep up with.

I too have sent an email when something has come up so he knows ahead of time what frame of mind I'm in. Makes for a more productive session. Occasionally I'll hand over a part of my journal when the words just won't come, or I'm embarrassed by something.

I also have evening sessions so that I have time alone to process the session. I sometimes write out summaries of the sessions just so I can go back to it when I'm more subjective.

I've been with the same therapist for 4 years now, so I realize my experience may be vastly different from yours. I just wanted to throw in a positive spin and some things that I've done that seem to help me get through the scary times. CBT is VERY draining!!! Revisiting trauma or having it triggered by a comment - a memory, is horribly frightening. I would encourage you to share these things with your therapist. If she can't handle it or you don't feel a connection or safety with her, than perhaps she isn't the one for you. For me, that's a must. How can you open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable if you lack the trust needed in your therapist to feel safe and protected?

You used the word "get over" when referring to being embarrassed about sharing emotions... may I ask why?
 
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