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Relationship Want To Start All Over

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Deleted member 28812

I am married to a guy who was diagnosed with PTSD.

Unfortunately there are problems in our relationship. He suffers from a fear of crowds which makes going out difficult. He is a very private guy who does not like to talk about his feelings.

In the past I have heaped reproaches on him for not talking to me and he reacted by botteling up and talkind less to me. I have build up resentment and so did he.

There were occasions when he cried and would not let me comfort him.

I want to make it work and am determinated to start "all over".
 
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I admire your heart to let go of the resentments and start all over. Starting all over isn't always possible. Even when emotional wounds heal, there can be scars.

However, doing your part to build a new chapter in your marriage is very possible. His part will be up to him.
 
Starting over doesn't happen.You both will need to continue from here.

Do either of you have a T? you can't solve him even though you try he needs professional help and so do you.

Only he can choose change and to be helped by a professional. I know you are hurting badly....I know:hug:

Get help for yourself to cope with your life, it will be worth it...you are worth it.:)

You know you can't force him to change, so then consider meeting your own needs.

I know it is very hard.:hug:
 
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In the past I have heaped reproaches on him for not talking to me and he reacted by botteling up and talkind less to me. I have build up resentment and so did he.

Is he going to therapy or is that all a possibility? It would be very difficult to build a relationship if one person avoids emotional intimacy and the other craves it. Very easy for resentment to build up.

I want to make it work and am determind to start "all over".

As another posted indicated, its hard to fully start over because there is the history and scars there. Has he indicated that he wants to change? It may be good to get some therapy for yourself both to help support him as well as support you in this process.
 
I talked to him about my unhappiness with him detaching and working all the time. This time I tried to be unemotional instaed of "venting" because that is more his communication style.
I think he did not even realize before. Has been two days now and he has hugged me when he went to work and phoned in his lunch break to ask how I am doing.

He is working on it and that's what I want to do too.

He has a therapist.
 
I talked to him about my unhappiness with him detaching and working all the time. This time I tried to be unemotional instaed of "venting" because that is more his communication style.
I think he did not even realize before. Has been two days now and he has hugged me when he went to work and phoned in his lunch break to ask how I am doing.

I think this might be how my guy operates too. Good on you for refusing to give up, for trying new ways of doing things, and for letting go of your resentment - it is no easy thing to do. And I'm so glad he responded to you.

Sounds like you're doing great, but do YOU have a therapist? Might be helpful to have that support during the tougher times.
 
No, not yet. I do have support - just not support from a therapist.

Anyway. I think we can work on our relationship anyway. Can't we?

For me it is difficult to show my support for him if he get's (outwardly) cold as ice. That's something I would like to hear some "sufferers" perspective on.
 
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