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Wanting to be badly hurt or ill so i can be in a hospital

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veois

I don't know why, but sometimes I really want to have something happen that causes me to have to go to the ER or to have to be in the hospital.

I don't understand why and it's not that I don't have experience being in the hospital. It wasn't particularly enjoyable and the one time I was in the ambulance I was really scared due to my inability to breathe or move...

Despite those experiences I still think about how I'd like something to happen to end me up in the hospital or I'll be lying in my bed wishing I'd be in the hospital.

I don't think it's because I want sympathy from others because I don't like getting visitors. I really hate it and I just want to be alone.

During times of feeling suicidal then it makes more sense to me, but other than that it doesn't.

I don't know if this is actually related to PTSD or whatever, but I thought I'd ask anyways because I've been surprised before.
 
I can understand those feelings as I will occasionally feel that way. I have had both good and bad hospital experiences but I thinking what I am missing/yearning for is relinquishing all responsibilities for those few days. I have been fortunate never to be admitted for psychiatric reasons so my experiences may be different but not having to set an alarm, all the meals cooked and served to you, no work, no people unless you want them to visit and in the cases I have been in acute pain and its partner acute pain relief that helps to smooth out the edges so I relax and don't care.
 
Maybe you want someone to care about you. ie doctors and nurses. Do you have people who care about you?

I sort of do. I have an amazing friend. We look after each other heavily and take care of each other, but because of work it's become a bit different for us and are unable to spend as much time together. Even though during the time of spending nearly 24/7 with each other and not only enjoying time relaxing as friends or hanging out, we also would have times where if someone was having a bad health day, the other would try and help. We've gotten to know each other so well that we know how to be each other's "Care giver," ... I'd still day dream and think about how it would be if I was in a hospital or if something bad happened to me such as experiencing terrible pain.

I can understand those feelings as I will occasionally feel that way. I have had both good and bad hospital experiences but I thinking what I am missing/yearning for is relinquishing all responsibilities for those few days. I have been fortunate never to be admitted for psychiatric reasons so my experiences may be different but not having to set an alarm, all the meals cooked and served to you, no work, no people unless you want them to visit and in the cases I have been in acute pain and its partner acute pain relief that helps to smooth out the edges so I relax and don't care.

Sometimes I'll want to be in a hospital for that reason for days I'm really stressed, but other times when I'm not I'll just be lying in bed thinking about it. I wouldn't be feeling particularly sad or hopeless, so it's not that I'm wishing I was dying in a hospital, and I wouldn't be feeling stressed enough to wish I could just escape from all responsibilities.I have considered checking into a psych hospital for a couple days stating I was feeling too overwhelmed and could really use the help of professionals immediately... But I don't know how that would go. I've only been admitted because of suicidal feelings, which was actually a false claim because I didn't feel suicidal at the time.
 
I have those feelings as well. For me it's an escape. Escape from life, reality and everything else. Life is easier when other people are taking care of every detail of it. I'll take physical pain over mental/emotional pain any day.
 
They don't keep you in the hospital very long anyways anymore. So what is it you think you'd be getting out of that?
 
I felt that way briefly years ago. I wanted to have a physical illness rather than a mental one where everyone just assumed I was lazy, crazy or weird. Sigh.
 
I felt that way briefly years ago. I wanted to have a physical illness rather than a mental one where everyone just assu...

Yeah, me too. Mine was a need to be cared for. I lost the feeling, though, when I realized how out-of-control you are when you are in the hospital and how little they actually do care for you. Now, I'd rather die in my closet than go to a hospital.
 
For a few days I was thinking about making myself have an unpleasant medical experience and I know I'll be scared and risk my life depending on how much I take, but I kind of want to just so something interesting will happen in my life. Have something else going on in my life other than what typically happens. Not that my life is bad or anything. It might be due to a little bit of uninterested, but I can easily entertain myself with a movie or going on a scenic trail. The hospital is a completely different type of "interesting" to me. I don't know why I want to... I know that it will be very unpleasant and I don't want people who know me to even be aware that I'm in the hospital or that something is wrong. But I've been thinking about it, I have the tools to do so. (doctors didn't double check my medications, so they have a "major" interaction) It's as simple as taking a few pills or so of each and I can easily rub it off as, "Oh. No one told me that they'd have a bad interaction. I'm stupid and I should have looked it up. I needed to take them and I didn't expect it to cause such a reaction," or whatever. I don't know.
 
Please reconsider. I understand that it could be easy and you believe that the interaction could be mitigated but the reality is that drug interactions just like a suicide attempt may not be intended to have permanent consequences they can it may not be death but many other consequences could happen and make life more difficult than it current is.
 
I don't know why, but sometimes I really want to have something happen that causes me to have to go to the ER or to have...

Not sure if this has been asked but what is your human-contact rate on an average week?

One thing I've realized in my hermitage is that as much as I hunger for contact, I miss simply being with someone and sharing a good song or a cool random moment, chilling and sharing you life's stories. ( However I also discovered the term "skin hunger this week and it's f*ckin with my head.)

Could this be a need to simply be around people?
 
Not sure if this has been asked but what is your human-contact rate on an average week?

One thing I've realized in my...

I do feel extremely lonely at times, but when I feel lonely I just want to die.

I am unsure on if it's a subconscious level that I'm unaware of because I don't interact with many people, only one, but that one I have very meaningful interactions with.
 
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