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Was it my own fault?

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OrangesPies

I was 13, i was coerced into sexual acts by another 13 year old. I cried and begged her not to make me do it. A crisis line confirmed it was my own fault. Is it true? Does our ages mean It was my own fault for not stopping her?
 
If you told her “no” and she persisted then she was a predator and took advantage of you regardless if you were the same age. You had and have every right to say no regardless of your and the other persons age. And the crisis line worker is crap.
 
Thanks...I feel like it was. like i should have been able to stop it. :(
 
Saying “No” doesn’t bear into it. At all. Because you were a child. Children aren’t equipped to speak up for themselves, or protect themselves, the way adults can.

It wasn’t your fault. You were a child.
 
It was not in anyway your fault, you did not consent to it and as Cacira said she is a predator.
 
I dont want it to be her fault either..she was 13 too. But its so hard to stop blaming myself. I feel like filth.
 
Many societies have a customary age below which children are considered to be unequipped to make certain distinctions and decisions.

Sometimes rulers jump in and try to claim credit for writing a pre existing societal normal on a piece of paper, and threatening to harm anyone who goes against it...

Anyway, very very few societies claim that a 13 year old is equipped to know what they're getting involved with, where sex is concerned.

Even if you had said yes, you were not equipped to know what was ahead, and you were unlikely to know that you didn't know...

And the blaming helpline person needs to be fired already!
 
Fault where both parties were children (and not borderline going-on-adult, you were both very much children) is difficult to navigate. The law deals with this by deciding that, for the most part, children might be responsible for their own actions but they aren’t ‘criminally culpable’. So it is tricky.

And the truth is, sometimes awful things happen, or people experience something awful, and it’s not necessarily possible to assign fault or blame. Was the other child responsible for their actions? Yes. Is this their fault? That’s a grey area.

But the fact that they might not be easily pigeonholed as being blameable, doesn’t mean that you were to blame. It’s not a case of “someone was at fault, and if it wasn’t them, it must be me”. You were a child, so regardless of whether you decide “this was their fault”, it wasn’t your fault.
 
I understand the concept of it being neither our faults. We were both kids. It just shook me when the helpline more or less confirmed my negative thinking that it was mine. :/ I worry about her sometimes too...like what the heck happened to her that made her do this to me.
 
Isn't coercion, more often than not considered a form of bullying, even among young teenagers, whether or not they were coerced into something else?
What cereal box did this person that said you were at fault get their credentials from?
 
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