Hello all.
I'm very new to this site. I'm sure there are many topics about self-harm. I just need someone to read mine and tell me that everything will be okay.
I'm very young. I'm 19. When I was a child I was molested for 3 years by my uncle. I told my mum when I was 8. She had recently married a new man after leaving my dad because he was abusive. She called the police and they investigated but the case eventually just faded. Nothing came of it. We do not speak to my uncle anymore.
I started to move on and finally make peace with what happened. I confided in a male friend when I was 14. I told him of the abuse I had suffered as a child. Unfortunately, instead of helping me, he saw how vulnerable I was and he took advantage of that. He raped me. I told my mum after 3 weeks. Again, she contacted the police. They did not have evidence for it happening so it was his word against mine. Having a history or sexual and physical abuse, they believed I must be craving attention. All through high school I walked the halls that held the person that caused me such grief and fear.
Shortly after my freshman year in high school, I began to cut myself. It helped calm me down. It made me feel better. I stopped the summer before my sophomore year because it became incredibly hard to hide. And by then, I was becoming a more confident person. I started again just 6 months after ending. I stopped again and started again. You can see the pattern. And the problem is I am addicted. I can not stop.
I started again about a week ago. I use any sharp object I can find. I recently cut on my shoulder, wrists, forearms, thighs, and the crease when I bend my arm. I am spiraling out of control. The desire to go deeper is much stronger now. I cannot tell my family or friends about it. I just can't. I haven't a clue what to do to make this stop. But my depression has gotten worse as well. Does anybody have anything that might help me get a grip and not cut or at least not have to desire to cut so deep?
Thank you so much for reading this if you did.
renee-des
I'm very new to this site. I'm sure there are many topics about self-harm. I just need someone to read mine and tell me that everything will be okay.
I'm very young. I'm 19. When I was a child I was molested for 3 years by my uncle. I told my mum when I was 8. She had recently married a new man after leaving my dad because he was abusive. She called the police and they investigated but the case eventually just faded. Nothing came of it. We do not speak to my uncle anymore.
I started to move on and finally make peace with what happened. I confided in a male friend when I was 14. I told him of the abuse I had suffered as a child. Unfortunately, instead of helping me, he saw how vulnerable I was and he took advantage of that. He raped me. I told my mum after 3 weeks. Again, she contacted the police. They did not have evidence for it happening so it was his word against mine. Having a history or sexual and physical abuse, they believed I must be craving attention. All through high school I walked the halls that held the person that caused me such grief and fear.
Shortly after my freshman year in high school, I began to cut myself. It helped calm me down. It made me feel better. I stopped the summer before my sophomore year because it became incredibly hard to hide. And by then, I was becoming a more confident person. I started again just 6 months after ending. I stopped again and started again. You can see the pattern. And the problem is I am addicted. I can not stop.
I started again about a week ago. I use any sharp object I can find. I recently cut on my shoulder, wrists, forearms, thighs, and the crease when I bend my arm. I am spiraling out of control. The desire to go deeper is much stronger now. I cannot tell my family or friends about it. I just can't. I haven't a clue what to do to make this stop. But my depression has gotten worse as well. Does anybody have anything that might help me get a grip and not cut or at least not have to desire to cut so deep?
Thank you so much for reading this if you did.
renee-des